Who You Are, More or Less

Perhaps the journey to understanding ourselves is made easier as we get older simply because it is a process of subtraction.  While I don't claim to have "arrived" in full self awareness, I have made progress with the passing of time as I realize who I am not.

In youth we identify with our bodies; how we look and feel physically, and our ability to move and respond in physical ways with few limitations.  We find ourselves in relationship to our friends, and peers, and the music that validates and articulates our inner thoughts and feelings. I can also remember how important having the right car was for me in my early twenties.  (Yes, I had car issues back then too!) In romantic relationships I saw myself reflected in my current partner.  How I perceived my significant other was intertwined with my self-image.  Later in life as I moved from entry-level employment into positions of significant responsibility, I began to see myself as inseparable from my work and career. 

While a pattern of identifying with the people, places and things that made up my life shifted over time, it didn't evolve.  The way I saw myself only changed form and shape, as each external definition assumed a greater or lesser role in defining me.

While career, relationships, and our physical bodies are all aspects of who we are in the world, there is a steep price to pay when these facets become major support beams in our life.  When a job, or a relationship or level of health becomes a pillar of our self-image, our whole world can come crashing down when one of these is damaged, diminished or lost.  Perhaps you have experienced this sobering reality first hand.

In Marianne Williamson's book, The Age of Miracles, she relates her catharsis as she watched her body change with age. Upon reflection she finally came to the deeper questions: So who am I really? Am I the woman who has changed with age, or am I the changeless self within? Am I the woman encased in time or the being who dwells apart from it?

Such questions can lead us to a deeper appreciation of who we are, and make a profound difference in how we experience the changes which are sure to continue in this human journey.  In fact, it has been my experience that the more I can identify with the changeless spiritual essence that is my true self, the more gracefully I can navigate the world that is in constant motion beneath my feet. 

Every bud and emerging shoot that breaks forth in the spring landscape came through the requisite season of loss and dormancy without losing awareness of its ever-present life force. Seasons of change and loss do not deny or diminish this essential life force in us either. 

The Sufi poet, Rumi compared this process of subtraction, which leads to us to our essence, using the metaphor of a moth flying into a flame. The wings of the moth are consumed in the flame, which represent our ego sense of self. When who we think we are is burned off by the ravishes of time and change, we are left with a soulful identity, a treasured sense of love, and deep peace.  It's a new kind of math, we're working with these days.  Through a process of subtraction, we jettison the skin and discover the heart, stripped of externals our intrinsic self is revealed. We find we are more than the sum of our parts, much more than we ever thought we were. 

All is Well - With Your Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

-          Hymnist - Horatio Spafford

Jesus referred to a level of faith that most of us still aspire to achieve, when he referred to those who have not seen and yet believe.  When the "facts" of our lives do not bear witness to an ever present heavenly Reality, we are challenged to discern spiritually what our eyes cannot see. Just as the disciples and all who heard Jesus message in his time failed to understand that the Kingdom is an inner dimension to be discovered and uncovered, we too must look away from life situations to behold the eternal verities within the tumult of our lives.  It is the great purpose and highest calling of our lives to know that despite the dramas unfolding in our life, that all is always well with our soul. 

The man who penned the words for the famous hymn, It Is Well with My Soul had every reason to abandon his faith after a series of great tragedies. Instead, in the midst of sorrow he drew from the depths of his Being, an awareness of the presence of Eternal goodness and well being.

Horatio Spafford endured uncommon grief. The first was the death of his only son in 1871 at the age of four; shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sailing ship, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It has been said that a bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul. It takes great discernment to realize that what is Eternal cannot be diminished or lost. It is not just for an enlightened few but every one of us enjoys this immunity by way of the interminable essence of our true nature.  It is the same spiritual groundedness that allowed Jesus to walk through betrayal, torture, and bodily death and neither condemn or judge or resist anyone or anything. He knew that the Life Force could not be extinguished. He knew he could not be separated from God, and that his death would be a transition, and a transformation but not an ending --only one more step on the ever evolving continuum of life.

These stories bear witness to the indomitable Spirit that lies within every man and woman, and our universal ability to realize and demonstrate Life's resurrection principle. What is impossible for humans is possible with God. Let these stories of overcoming remind us of the power which lies latent within each of us as children, and therefore heirs to all that God is. Let us take heart in the midst of the storms, even before they pass, knowing that the Divine is seeking to reveal Itself through us in every situation that pushes our seeming limitations. Let us have the mind in us that was in Christ Jesus. Let us know that what seems to be against us is illusory, and that Life's only motivation is to lead us from glory to even greater glory. 

R&R

As I write this Denese and I are in beautiful Raleigh-Durham area of North Carolina.  Denese is here to observe and support Rev. Cher Holton, her mentee in the Unity Minister Field Licensing Program. Rev. Cher and Bill were at UCOD this last June. 

I'm here to reconnect with a good friend who was my classmate during ministerial school and is now the senior minister of Unity Church of the Triangle in Raleigh.

This is a time of renewal and rest for me, and to get another glimpse of  a successful Unity ministry as a congregant/observer.  In my commitment to stay away from work and deadlines, I have not written an inspirational article this week.  However if you are in need of some inspiration you can find over 60 articles in our archive of past articles at our blog at http://ucoddiscuss.blogspot.com.  You'll find articles on a variety of spiritual topics--except perhaps rest and renewal.  I have not written much about R&R as a spiritual practice. I must live it first, then I can write that one.

You Can Get There From Here

Last Monday, I got a clear glimpse of the way I derail my own well being.   The revelation was at once disturbing and enlightening.

It was a particularly busy week, with a host of details and tasks that kept me humming and running all the way through Sunday afternoon.  I was looking forward to Monday, a day set apart from the busyness of life, and an opportunity to enjoy leisure activities.  I have an unfinished woodworking  project in our garage that continually beckons hands and tools to shape its final form. Throughout the work week, I give it sidewards glances with the thought that when time permits I'll be at it again.

So it was last Monday morning I was immersed in this enjoyable project when I realized that I needed some additional screws and fasteners in order to continue.  Though subtle, there arose in me a mild irritation. Nothing significant really but I didn't really deal with it. I just got in the car and began driving to a local hardware store.  As I came to stop at a traffic signal a block from the store, the feeling hit me again.  Maybe because I was slightly more aware of my internal experience than normal, I noticed that my body was slightly tense.  I thought how odd, that I would be feeling tense on my day off doing what I enjoy. I asked myself why I was feeling this uptightness. The answer came with a realization that I was ever-so-subtly contracting myself in resistance to the minor inconvenience of an interruption of a desirable activity. I was holding some resistance, suffused with mild resentment, generally refusing to accept my current situation.  

I was struck by the irony. While sitting in traffic I found myself in violation of a failure to yield. I paid the price for this mental infraction. Failure to yield to life will be penalized with inner conflict. Even mild opposition to the present moment boots us offline. In that realization I could see that I do this many moments throughout the day.  I suspect that many of us  hold ourselves in a nearly constant state of resistance. Resistance is a form of protection or defense against anything that is even slightly disagreeable. in my case,  I wanted to be back in my garage working on the project, not driving to the store!  How petty, how minor. Not really a problem you say? Exactly, but I made it a problem by refusing to be with the "new reality." As soon as I saw what I was doing, I yielded, throttled back my resistance, and brought my full self back into the present moment. From a state of embrace, I could allow my full appreciation for life to enfold and dissolve the irritation.  The good feelings returned. I discovered that I could take a detour from my preferences, without derailing Presence.

Presence is full awareness of our Being; our divine essence experienced through the portal of the present moment. The awareness of Presence will bring us back into the fold of equanimity for all manner of life's distractions. Small or great, for there are no levels of difficulty in the healing power of Presence. Presence is closer than hands or feet, more near than our breath. And that is the very irony of our default behavior which sends us backwards and forwards, hither and yon to find the place that is imminently close. Never mind that the past is gone, and we can't change it, and the future hasn't taken place, we nonetheless seek to dwell in those imagined places in mind, rather than occupying the only moment we do occupy - the moment that is now.

When we call off the search, stop resisting with mind and body, and bring our whole being into the fold of the present moment, we are back in the abode of wholeness and peace - even when life derails our plans. This is good news - we can get there from here. 

You and I are here for a reason. The reason is, to Be here. Being here is the clarion call of infinite Presence calling us back to life, to wholeness, to peace and harmonious relationship with all that is. The present moment is the portal to the life we have been seeking over there, someday and somewhere. That life has arrived. It is with us when we are getting what we want, and it is with us when we aren't getting what we want. But if we stay present with whatever arises, we will discover that Life is what we want...and it'll be there for us.

The Onward Impulse of Spirit

"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God..." St. Paul Philippians 3:13-14

In worldly terms, by human measure, many millions of people around the world would report that their lives have been diminished over the last few years of economic decline. Incomes have been slashed or lost, equities have been fractionalized, retirement plans decimated, careers destroyed or upended, and families put under the strain of financial inadequacy. Many who will read this article know these scenarios first hand. Our assets and the flow of monetary good have taken quite a hit, and the ego mind can easily settle into a mode of counting the losses, bemoaning the great tragedy and take us into a state of despair.

What we need is a turnaround strategy.  How do we face and embrace this human condition and bring it in a new light that can serve us and the world? The answer is once again for us to remember and ground ourselves in the most fundamental of Truth that the Love and Intelligence of the universe is still with us. In other words, this human plight, and the worst of scenarios, is incapable of separating us from the ever present love and wisdom and activity of God.  We suffer because we allow our perception of life's challenges to create a rift in our faith, and suddenly we are all alone against the world. On our own, we feel powerless, victimized, sometimes even paralyzed to get back on our feet. But believe it or not, this is a choice we make.  We can either tell God about our big problem or tell our problem about a great and mighty God. We can either be hostage to our egos, or hosts to God (A Course in Miracles).

However difficult our human dilemma, however steeped we seem to be in a particular challenge, the eternal impulse to reveal Itself through us is greater and will always prevail, if we let it have its way in us. We can believe in depression, contraction, and devolution or we can believe in the 14 billion year story of the onward impulse of Spirit that is constantly expanding to reveal more of Itself through its creation. That means, that no matter how dark it gets in the human scene, the Light that first ignited your life, wants to shine even brighter through you now than ever before.  Could it be that in the evolutionary scheme of things, that great change, transformation, upendings, breakdowns of old ways and means of living must give way so that the fullness of God's Love, Light, Wisdom, Harmony and Joy can come into its own as us now?

Many people are waking up to realize and recognize and believe this deep eternal truth as a truly enlightened context for viewing wholesale changes in the individual and collective human experience. If we can catch God's idea, the Divine impulse behind the cataclysmic changes, we will see that beneath the trembling landscape of our human lives, there is something even more beautiful, authentic, and real seeking to emerge through us. It is no less than the upward call of God, cracking the shell of our limited perceptions, so that we take the governor off of our love, compassion, generosity, and bring forth a world in which our spiritual gifts can be put to wonderful use.

Take this personally, for a moment and ask yourself.  Knowing God's will for me is only good, what divine quality or awareness is being coaxed out of me in this time of challenge?  What meaning do I ascribe to this situation as I maintain that nobody and nothing is against me. No longer as victim of life, but as an heir to Infinite Love, I now have eyes to see that this situation is calling me higher, and drawing forth a grander version of my Self.  Seeing how this is true for you is the very grace of God made manifest here and now. Press onward with this realization until you can see the Divine perfection at work in your life.  It's an endless promise and revelation that will never leave you comfortless.

My Way or the High Way?

From where comes guidance? How do I know I'm on the right path?  How do I navigate this life? These are the questions that continually arise for those of us who sincerely want to find and stay on our right and true path through the journey that is our life.

We love the dramatic stories where the way is made powerfully clear but who of us has seen a bush burst into flame with a voice that declares our mission, or the parting of a great body of water to reveal a way through difficulty, or a yellow brick road to lead us home? 

We can more easily relate to ambiguity in our experience; the wandering in the wilderness of possibility without certainty whether we are getting closer or farther from the high way. We can be frustrated by the absence of direction as if following Yogi Berra's advice when encountering a fork in the road, "take it!"

Jesus shared a story about a directionally challenged young man who followed his inner guidance only to end up steeped in human indulgence and miserable.  The prodigal son was sure he would find joy in the world. He followed his desire for a better life, convinced that it could be found somewhere beyond the homestead of here and now.  In the end, when he hit the skids, he realized his navigation error; that what he longed for was not in the world but back home.

We can all relate to this story because, at least spiritually, we've discovered the errancy of our guidance.  Many of us come to ourselves and realize that we've been looking for our happiness in all the wrong places, and the wrong faces.  Because this world is such a powerful opiate that dulls our spiritual sense of direction, this is a tough dysfunction to correct. Under the influence of this illusory world, we are convinced that something or someone will give us what we need.  When the quest does not pay off, we usually convince our self that a new something or new someone is the way to go.  Yet, no matter how many times we set out to find peace or fulfillment or love in the world, our journey is doomed to failure. It can be no other way.

That said, we still have to make choices in this world of form, decisions that affect our work, our relationships,  our finances, our future, and the question looms, how do we know what is the "right choice?"  Or is there such a thing as a "right choice?"  Some frame this conundrum as a matter of discerning God's will - the High way versus my way. In Unity, we understand God's will for his creation is "not of this world" but a pure desire to fully express Itself through Its creation. It then follows that our decision process must proceed from inside out. The high way of the Divine is marked with internal guideposts that show us the way. We get our bearings by first turning away from appearances, the allure of the phenomenal world, and take steps that lead us home. Whatever choice that brings us a greater experience or expression of the Divine is the high way for us. That choice that brings us peace, expands our heart, heightens creativity or authenticity or expresses love is the Wise way.

Such choices might mean unorthodox behavior according to conventional thinking. You might turn down the promotion, or invest at lower rate of return, leave the sure thing and go out on a limb. You may begin to see and invest in qualities and values which the world dismisses or discounts. By the world's economy it may have been a costly journey.  But having come this way, you will find yourself at home, and at peace, in your heart of hearts.

Living from the Overflow

In every sense of the word, this has been a full week for me. The fact that it's Saturday afternoon and I'm just now getting around to writing this article that I usually complete on Friday, owes to an unusually busy week for me.  Denese was in Portland visiting her family most of the week, and I was privileged to teach a 10 hour Spiritual Enrichment Class at Christ Unity Church this week.  But I'm not here to share how full the hours of my day were as a consequence of this teaching assignment, rather to share how spiritually full and enriched I was by the experience.

There are activities in which we spend time and end up depleted by them and others where our time is invested and the return is a true increase in us. I am definitely better for having invested the time to facilitate this class.  I feel profoundly deepened and inspired by the reading, contemplating, preparing and sharing with this wonderful group of 15 truth students who shared our journey through a Lessons in Truth Class based upon the diminutive yet mighty Unity classic text by Emily Cady.

The teachings of Dr. Cady are pithy and direct with little fluff that might dilute their powerful intended effect of leading the reader beyond a mere understanding of the teachings to a  real knowing of the Truth. Most of us do not practice spirituality with such fervor or directness. Our class reveled in Dr. Cady passionate invitation to suspend tentativeness, and make the leap of faith into Kingdom of God consciousness. She does not mince words in her zeal to get right with God now! The first words of the book, a quote from Apostle Paul, urges "Finally be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of his power" (Eph. 6:10) There is no backing away from this intense singlular focus all the way through the book, even to her culminating closing words, "God is a present help in time of need: but there must be a recognition of His presence, a turning away from human efforts, and an acknowledgment of God only (a single eye) before He becomes manifest."

This discipline of such a singular focus on God realization as the only true spiritual practice that bears fruit in one's life became disturbingly clear to me this week. I have studied and dabbled in many paths and practices in my effort to reach a sense of interior well being.  Many of these practices skirt the end zone and leave me short of my true goal.  The clarity and purity of this week's spiritual focus felt like a splash of holy water that cleared my spiritual vision and put me back on a truer path. The sense of the Presence and the sacred insights have been profound. I am indeed full for having invested the time in these clear, unfettered teachings.  As I reflect on the time spent, and count the interior gains, I realize I may have actually saved time in the long run of my spiritual journey.

This Sunday we look at our last core value, Abundance.  As I reflect on this topic, while still steeped in the pure teachings of Jesus, I see how Jesus clearly measured abundance from the content of his heart and his awareness of the full cup that overflowed with the presence, power and love of God.