Love That Beckons, Love That Remains

As many of you may already have heard through the ethers of connectivity, I have resigned as minister of Unity Center of Davis and accepted the senior minister role at Unity of Santa Barbara.

This decision is both sweet and bitter. The sweetness is the opportunity to raise the bar of my spiritual leadership in a well-established and dynamic spiritual community that seems poised to grow, quantitatively and qualitatively.  I believe it has all the right stuff in place to allow me to maximize my gifts as speaker, teacher, and inspirational presence with the staffing and resources that will fully support me in this role.  In other words I’ll be free of the other tasks that are not my gifts and afforded the staff support and compensation so I can follow my true calling with fewer distractions.

The bitter is of course in leaving you, such amazing loving, positive, faith filled community of seekers of truth who have rolled up your sleeves, opened hearts and hands and purses to co-create and sustain the wonderful experiment of Unity in Davis, CA for over 6 years.  I have such deep love and appreciation for each of you, knowing whatever effort I undertook was bolstered by those of you who on a strictly volunteer basis, mustered the love and joy for service;  and stepped up, again and again to keep the community alive and well. To have witnessed this miracle of birth, and growth and determination to thrive even in adverse conditions has been to witness the enormous power of love.

My love for this work, the irrepressible call to spiritual study and leadership has been equally awe inspiring, driving me to follow its often irrational course, with costs and consequences to my security and family stability. So often it has felt right to my soul and folly to my mind and I submitted to the former, and paid the price of the impracticality.

This time the call feels like a remarkably balanced opportunity that satisfies my heart and my head; a seemingly rare and precious pearl of a chance to follow a “heavenly” call with earthly support.  Every part of me knows this is the right decision. And still, the “rightness” of this decision does not mean there is not sorrow. I will grieve our separation. Humanly it tears at my heart to leave. Yet I know it’s my time to move on, and so I trust that Grace, a love even greater than what we have for each other, will replace the angst of our separation in its right time.

It was love that brought us together; a love for the ideal of sharing these powerful teachings in an inclusive, empowering community. It was love that saw us through when it looked like we lacked the resources to continue. It was love that motivated you and I to dig deeper into our willingness and capacity to offer whatever was necessary to maintain and sustain this community. That’s a powerful and beautiful testimony to the power of love and it gives me great hope that what love has done here, love will do here, going forward.

I only take the memory of that love story with me. The love that conceived, believed and achieved this community remains here embedded in your hearts and is activated, as it has been, by your will.

My hope and prayer is that you will stay close to each other and remember that the true Teacher is the Spirit within you, The Holy Comforter, that remains as always as close as your next moment of remembrance. I also leave you with the love of my life, Rev. Denese, who will be a wonderful reminder and loving presence during this time of envisioning your future as a spiritual community and calling forth your next spiritual leader.

And to those of you who have read this column and not been a part of our physical spiritual community I bid you farewell with this final writing. I’m glad to know that despite having never met each other you have found value in this sharing.

To all of you, who have found value in these articles or in our community, I say thank you and bless you. May love continue to guide our journeys and leave us better for what it has asked of us and what it has given us.

Love, always
Rev. Larry

Peace, A Core Value for a Core Issue

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn't make any sense. - from The Essential Rumi

Every Sunday at Unity Center of Davis, we conclude our service by standing together and singing the Peace Song. The first and last lines proclaim, "let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me." There is a variation of this refrain, that our ego sings many more times during the week that goes like this: Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with: her, him, that situation, this dilemma, this preference, that shift, this resolution, that outcome, and on and on it goes.

Our false self that sings this refrain is not connected to the whole of life, and clamors to reclaim the fragments of happiness that seem to be in the world of outer conditions and other people. When I am identified with my false self, I feel separated, and frustrated, and it is easy to blame my inner turmoil on what someone or something is "doing to me." It may take two to tango, or reach accord, but it takes just one to find peace inside oneself.

Real and lasting contentment, the peace that Jesus referred to as beyond human understanding, is not an effect of getting what we want in life, nor a negotiated agreement, nor the laying down of arms. A Course in Miracles says, Nothing outside yourself can save you; nothing outside yourself can give you peace. Ultimately, peace is the recognition of a deep sense of well-being in which this moment is acceptable just as it is, unconditionally.

Peace is more than the absence of conflict; it is the presence of a reality beyond the duality of your way or my way. Rumi referred to this as a place beyond right or wrong, and a place where we could meet each other.

The conflicts, which disturb our peace, are always some version of unskillful attempts to get our needs met. Conscious evolution can lead us to find satisfaction without harming. When we drop below the surface mind that thrashes and lashes out we can see more clearly what is really true. This is spiritual insight that first takes us inward, opens our eyes to seeing in a new way, and brings us back to the world with a more holistic, compassionate perspective.

The field beyond right and wrong is the unified field of our essential oneness, the great web in which we are inseparable from all of life. Once glimpsed, the ramifications of lashing out, or polluting, or blaming in order to redress some inner dissatisfaction, are seen more plainly as self-defeating and most certainly counter to any peaceful intention.

While we are evolving toward this enlightened perspective, we need constant reminders of the way to peace. I know of no better technique to correct my perception than calling upon Spirit to help me see rightly. Even when judgments are railing in my head and I am at war with everything and everyone one, there is the voice of Truth, that sees through the appearances and remains undisturbed. This voice can lead me beyond the field of right and wrong, to the still waters of peace. If nothing else we can sing the familiar refrain whenever we need to remember the way to peace, Let there be peace, and let it begin with me.

Monotheism and the Illuision of Separation

They said to Him: Shall we then, being children,
enter the Kingdom? Jesus said to them:
When you make the two one, and
when you make the inner as the outer
and the outer as the inner and the above
as the below, and when
you make the male and the female into a single one,
then shall you enter the Kingdom.
- Gospel of St. Thomas Saying 22

In Unity, and in the mystical heart of all major religions, Oneness emerges as a supreme foundational tenet. The notion that we are not isolated creatures but inseparable and at one with a universal spirit is at the core of many faiths.   How ironic that a belief in oneness is a common denominator across the battleground of religious beliefs that are often comprised of bitterly embedded camps of righteousness, which go to war over their individuated differences.  While Oneness reigns as a supreme ideal,  our everyday behavior suggests that separation is the prevailing perception and practice.

Across the faith traditions of the majority of the world's population prevails an idea that ultimate reality is a union of opposites. Even in the Garden of Eden story, the problem of Adam and Eve (the fall) is sparked by a decision to partake in the knowledge of good and evil - a choice that brings the suffering of duality over the perfect Oneness and Goodness that preceded it.

At the personal level, you and I make this choice in every moment; choices that separate us from Supreme Reality, and the oneness that is within us and all around us. Such choices do not cause an actual separation of course, since it is impossible to be apart from our Essence, yet these choices create the experience of separation.  That's quite enough for us to create a world of opposites, of lack, limitation, right and wrong, you and me, them and us, have and have not; all the ingredients that have us clamoring and dueling over our share of the good.  It could be said that a dualist must become a duelist. While this illusion is being played out through a separate sense of self, in truth we remain in union with an all providing Source that supplies our every need.

So how do we find our way back to this Unity consciousness, which is the cherished destination of all spiritual paths? One way is to deconstruct the false self that we've created; a self that we define and identify through bits and pieces of our personal reality.

When we answer the question, who am I, our initial instinctive responses reflect our beliefs about who we think we are.  We identify with our body, our careers, our desires, our emotions, and our thoughts.  We readily attach our "I am" to superficial descriptors, such as Caucasian man, Asian woman, plumber, teacher, sad, glad, curious, anxious, wealthy, or wounded. These become our identities. They define us, and close off our awareness to the self that has no boundaries, no defining edges, no separate sense of itself.

When we can begin to release these labels, we begin to dissolve the distinctions that wall off our connection with the allness of life.  Here's a process:  Recite these phrases in a contemplative fashion, realizing the significance of these insights as you say them:

I have a body, but I am not my body
I have desires, but I am not my desires
I have emotions, but I am not my emotions
I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts.

The very act of noticing these aspects of yourself puts you in touch with a self that can observe characteristics that you've formerly believed comprised your whole identity.  What can be seen and felt cannot be the true seer.  As you witness these aspects of yourself, you are less likely to identify and define yourself by them. This awareness moves us closer to unity consciousness, which as St. Paul noted, is living, moving and having our very being in Divine Presence.

Gratitude, An Enlightened Perspective

You have made me so rich, oh God, please let me share out Your beauty with open hands. My life has become an uninterrupted dialogue with You, oh God, one great dialogue. Sometimes when I stand in some corner of the camp, my feet planted on Your earth, my eyes raised toward Your Heaven, tears sometimes run down my face, tears of deep emotion and gratitude. At night, too, when I lie in my bed and rest in You, oh God, tears of gratitude run down my face, and that is my prayer.

You may not recognize the author of these words, and I would dare say that few of us would be able to come close to guessing the circumstances under which the writer found herself overflowing with praise and gratitude to her Creator.

You might guess that these worshipful exclamations might have flowed from an open, praise-filled heart of one who had reached a state of deep gratefulness for a life overflowing with profound blessings.  Not so. These are the words of Etty Hillesum.

Etty was a 27-year-old Jewish woman living in Amsterdam in 1941. At a time when the Nazi takeover was rousing terror among Dutch Jews, Etty Hillesum underwent an amazing inner transformation in the direction of freedom and joy. By April of 1942 Jews were forced to wear the Star of David, and the wholesale deportation began later that spring. Finally in August 1942 she was consigned with her family to an internment camp, from which Jews were deported to Auschwitz on a weekly basis. Etty stayed in the camp until September 1943. In the midst of the squalor, the confinement, the fear, she praised God for life, for beauty, for the secure refuge of her soul. Amazingly, her prayers in these last days of her life in the prison camp were lavish expressions of gratitude.

Etty's spirit continued to burn brightly even to the very end. She stepped onto the deportation train "talking gaily, smiling, a kind word for everyone she met on the way, full of sparkling humor, perhaps just a touch of sadness," as the chronicler of her last day in the camp describes. Later, some farmers along the train route discovered a postcard she had thrown out of the train. "We have left the camp singing," it said. Etty Hillesum died in Auschwitz on November 30, 1943 ((from Judith Smith's book review of An Interrupted Life-The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941-43 translated by J.G. Gaarlandt)

How many of us can muster an attitude of gratitude in the midst of life's great challenges? When faced with great difficulty, seeing the good and giving thanks is a high bar for our consciousness to achieve. Why is this so?  The answer is embedded in Etty's response to her life situation.  Her faith was not derailed by adversity but driven deeper within her, where blessings and grace, presence and comfort were found overflowing. She refused to deny the existence of the Divine or even entertain the slightest diminution of good in the worst of human conditions. The Apostle Paul said "in all things, give thanks." Notice he didn't say "for" all things give thanks, but "in" all things be grateful.  This is the master's way of dealing with life; to remain resolute in awareness of Divine presence, and never let what happens in the world betray our faith.

Omnipresence is a lovely, lofty word to describe the absolute assurance that God is never absent anywhere in our wonderful and dangerous world. However, to bear witness to that promise and feel it at a soul level when a train of difficulty comes for us, takes enormous vision; an enlightened perspective.  I've tasted those sweet moments a few rare times in my life and know it is possible to stand in the storm and be glad and grateful even before the trouble has passed. Ultimately we can only get there if we trust that difficulty and challenge are not against us, rather seen as allies on the path that strip us of falsehoods only to reveal our bare naked, eternal, true selves.

As Henri Nouwen has written, gratitude is a discipline, "because it challenges me to face the painful moments and gradually to discover in them the pruning hands of God purifying my heart for deeper love, stronger hope, and broader faith.... "

Freedom: A God Given Choice

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. - Jesus

When we think of freedom as citizens of a democracy our thought goes to those hard won rights that launched this independent nation.  We enjoy many human freedoms that for so many people around the globe are only frustrated impulses for self-determination. Here we are free to live where we want, move about without restriction, free to vote in open elections, free to speak our mind and decide on issues and leaders that affect our lives. Freedom of choice rules in the marketplace, where there is such a smorgasbord of choices that selecting a tube of toothpaste can be a dizzying exercise of free will.  This is cause for recognition, grounds for profound appreciation, and most definitely calls for the annual, if not more frequent, pause to celebrate the life and liberty we enjoy in this country.

That's all good. However, if that's as far as we go, are we truly free? I would suggest that we are not truly free no matter how many civil liberties we enjoy, unless we free our minds and our hearts as well.

We may have the right to "pursue happiness" but a right does not guarantee that we'll experience happiness. We can set up the foundations for a free society and guidelines to protect its liberties, yet no law or external mandate can liberate the mind and heart that is imprisoned by fear, locked in guilt, shackled by shame, or buried in resentment.   Such freedom is wrought only through the inner work of each individual citizen who chooses to take up their individual cause for personal liberty.

In every moment, of every day, we come up against the headwinds of circumstances that threaten to derail our sense of well-being. If the set point for our well-being is aligned with our preferences for life, then we will find ourselves shackled by unhappiness most of the time. As Jesus and Buddha both noted, our human journey will be riddled with trials and sorrows, along with joys, and that there is an overcoming power within us that can remain free from suffering through all that arises.

We relinquish our inner freedom, and suffer, when we see ourselves only in partial truth, as mere mortals, at the mercy of circumstances and other people's opinion.  This identity crisis underlies the pain I feel in this world of appearances. But there is a greater truth about you and me.  Jesus said you are the light of the world; that heaven resides within you, and St. Paul said you live and move and have your very being in God. The Buddha said our true nature transcends suffering, and that well-being is possible regardless of circumstances.

Let these perennial teachings remind you that there is a path to true freedom. It is a spiritual path that turns our attention from the outer conditions that might restrain us, and illuminates the inner chambers of the heart and mind that are spacious, compassionate and bear all things with equanimity. May we also remember that democracy was (and is) a work in progress that was not fully formed by a declaration of independence but by the trials and errors along a path toward full realization. May we see our journey to freedom with equal understanding and patience with the process. This is the nature of spiritual growth, the ongoing and progressive realization of our true spiritual nature, that yields an ever-widening view of the you/me that God created us to be.

In the faith that frees,

Rev. Larry

Beholding the Greater Good

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

What was your initial reaction when you read the above line? Read it again, and take note. Do you agree with that extraordinarily bold and positive assessment of life? If so, you are among the rare and fortunate among us who take a sanguine view of life.

For the rest of us, who may tend to see the glass as half empty, and default to noticing what's missing in our experience, we can take comfort in the knowledge that we come by it naturally. That is, our psyches are wired for a negative bias, meaning we are more likely to pay attention and retain memories of those situations that are harmful or disturbing than the positive and uplifting circumstances.  Brain science explains this phenomenon is a basic instinctual survival response. Stemming back to our earliest history on this planet, when our environment was more hostile, and the threat of attack was a realistic daily concern, it was essential that we be on the lookout for what could harm us.  Compared to noticing and storing the memories of the good and pleasant situations, our penchant for survival dictated that we be vigilant in awareness of the "bad" stuff that could hurt us. Psychologist and author, Rick Hanson, PhD says it this way, "We are Velcro for the negative, and Teflon for the positive."

Does that mean that we are doomed to negativity? Not at all. It's just an explanation of our human tendency. Thankfully, we are more than a body/mind! We are children of the Divine, and if children, then heirs to all that is Spirit.  Our spiritual nature is more essentially who we are than the mortal limitations, and dualistic perspectives of our human self. It is in this milieu of knowing ourselves and beholding life that we can find an essential goodness, a wholeness and peace that surpasses ordinary human perception and understanding.

While our essential and spiritual nature readily offers us a view of the good, the true and the beautiful, it remains latent and under the radar of our awareness unless we consciously intend to see it.  This is the consequence and criterion of free will. Much like the electricity that runs through the walls of your home, the light does not flood the room until you flip the switch. In parallel fashion, we must incline our minds toward the sacred view of life, which floods our world with the qualities of love, compassion, kindness and gratitude.  As much as we think we must get what we want to feel good, it is our intention that brings the enlightened perspective.  As poet Hafiz noted,

Ask the Friend for love, Ask Him again. For I have heard that whatever one's heart prays for the most, that's what one gets.

So frequently, our desire for life to be a certain way is only the visible tip of a much deeper need. If we are willing to probe, we may discover the true need that then can become the focus of our prayer, our intention. For example, you may want somebody in your life to behave differently. You could pray for that outcome, hold out for that to happen. (Good luck and I hope you are eternally patient.) Alternatively, you could ask yourself, what do I really want?  Such deep inquiry might lead you through several layers to a core need, which might be that you want a loving connection with that person. Now you are in God's domain of influence. Now you are answering the call "according to God's purpose." Intending for a loving connection will bring you back to your deepest nature, where love can be actualized in your experience.  Here you are shown how to restore the love that is your true yearning. This is the practice of the masters, which can reveal the presence of Good in every situation, for the deepest inquiry will always lead us back to our deepest self, where, in the company of Divine Presence we can behold the good, the true and the beautiful. May it be so for you.

Peace and blessings
Rev. Larry

Emergence: A Welcome Change

When you learn to shift your identity from that of the egoic “local self” to the magnificence of your “non-local” Essential Self and then beyond to your Universal Self, the highest frequency of your being, you become fully available to BE the change and become an activation point and catalyst for conscious evolution.- Barbara Marx Hubbard

Like many ambitious men, I spent a good deal of my life trying to achieve my way to success, acquire my way to happiness. I achieved and I acquired but the success was ephemeral and the acquisitions ultimately could not satisfy my deepest hunger.  The American dream morphed into an endless season of discontent. I hit bottom. This was great news to my higher self, the part of me that was waiting patiently in the wings for me to call off the fruitless search, turn the ship around and head home.

I did make that about face a score of years ago and began a search for inner success, an honest appraisal of what mattered most to me in life, and I got in touch with a deeper purpose. In my case, the inward journey lead me to the spiritual path of Unity, and a career in ministry.  It's important for me to emphasize that ministry is only one of a myriad of forms that authentic self-expression can take.  It happens to be mine and it's just another form. 

Form, no matter how much importance you might ascribe to it is still just form. It’s merely an external accessory to who we are, and not of our essence. It has no life of its own.  No meaning. No purpose. No value. A job describes what I do, not what I am.  We can forget that and many of us do lose ourselves in our careers. We also lose ourselves in the roles we assume in life, our socioeconomic conditions, how others see us, etc.  Soon our entire self-concept is invested in a stock that has no intrinsic value. It's only a matter of time before it comes crashing down. Who we thought we were is laid waste, and eventually laid to rest.  It can be the worst and best of times.

To continue the journey home, to deepen understanding of our truest nature we must be willing to abandon form in favor of content.  This can be difficult, painful, and counterintuitive, yet the exfoliation of the false self is the only way to uncover our true essence.  Jesus understood the process, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. (John 12:24)

Once the false form dies, the real work begins, but it is fulfilling work. You're not “workin' for the man” anymore - you're working for the soul. It's the hardest job you'll ever love. The way the world measures you may have less, but the heart overflows. You are simultaneously humbled and exalted, at once motivated and surrendered. It's the paradox that Jesus described. You have lost your life, and found new life.

Forms are still interesting and even attractive, but not compelling or defining. The only thing that matters is the feeling that something Great and true and real is coursing through your veins, running your life. You come to agree with the Taoist, Only in being lived by the Tao can you be truly yourself.

This is emergence that you can truly welcome. This is the change that transforms you at depth and brings healing and wholeness that surpasses any form the world can offer.

How Many Gods Do You Need?

Okay, how did you answer this title question? I’m guessing you said, “One – just one!” That is the “correct” answer – correct for a monotheist, a keeper of the commandments, or a good Unity truth student who is steeped in the tenet that, “there is only one Presence and Power in my life.” So okay, you and I can pass the “correctness” test on this question, but can we be brutally honest for a moment and really see if our singular God affirmation holds up under scrutiny in our moment to moment thoughts and actions.

If we truly believe that God is the supreme Power in our life; the singular source of all that we could ever need, the very fountain of Love that never runs dry, the enduring peace that we seek, and the source of all joy and happiness then why, oh why, do we:

Worry (about anything)?

Fear – anything?

Look to others for love?

Get angry, upset, depressed, frustrated, etc., etc.?

Pray for …healing, prosperity, weather changes, anything?

If I/we truly believed that God is the alpha and omega of our fulfillment, we would want for nothing, other than an intimate relationship with the Divine. And that, of course, is just what Master Teacher, Jesus taught, repeatedly:

Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven…and all these things shall be added unto you

When you pray, pray believing you have received and it will be yours.

When we entreat for specific outcomes that we want to happen in our lives, we are in effect, worshiping false idols, lesser gods, merely wish fulfillers.  When these demands upon the universe are the preeminent conditions for my well-being,  I, in effect, dethrone the only true and enduring Power, the Eternal Source of All good and in so doing I become so much flotsam on the shifting sea of caprice and circumstance.

When Jesus told the rich man, who wanted to find eternity, that he needed to first sell all that he owned, he was symbolically laying out the conditions for our oneness with God. Simply (but not easily) we must look at all those things, persons, conditions, beliefs, thoughts which we believe are either taking the place of or keeping us from our good, and give them up!  NO that doesn't mean we have to literally give them up, it means they must be demoted from god status because they promise falsely and will  wear out, or change thus guaranteeing that we'll be left wanting once more.

“A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need to correct.” A.C.I.M.

The kind of prayer that that our souls yearn for brings us into union with the Divine. It is pure communion. It asks for nothing because it has everything already. The purpose is to know ourselves as inseparable from Love, to claim and realize the inheritance bestowed upon us as progeny of Spirit. When I touch into this knowing place, then I find all my needs fulfilled, and need no other gods to separate me from the One that is All. The fruits of this kind of prayer are a complete change of mind and heart that will transform our world, from inside out.

Of course you know that this message was just for you? No it was for me of course. Unless it applies to you in which case I'm glad we could share a moment of remembrance once more!

Namaste,

Rev. Larry

Freedom: A Moment to Moment Declaration

Today is a good day to think about freedom as we celebrate the birth of an independent nation, founded on the principles of self-determination and inalienable rights.

Actually, any day is a good day to think about freedom. To be really free transcends the rights of a people to live under a permission-giving system of laws. True freedom goes beneath all external forms of liberty. I’m referring to the essential freedom that is imbued within our true nature. It is the freedom to choose our very perception of all that arises within and without us.  It is a freedom contained within our minds that allows us to choose how we will respond to the vagaries of life. The problem is that we are much less acquainted with this internal freedom than the rights which allow us to live where we choose or to vote our conscience in a free election. 

Lacking recognition of my ability and freedom to choose how I will see a particular situation can be as oppressive to my experience as living under a dictatorial regime might be.  If I fail to exercise this right to choose, I’m going to have difficult time enjoying life or liberty, let alone the pursuit of happiness.  And I notice that most of the time I forget that I have this choice of perception and allow circumstances to dictate my reaction to life. However, our deepest Truth reminds us that we are not victims of the world unless we live on the surface where we can be tossed about by shifting winds of fortune and misfortune.

Our deepest nature, being spiritual, takes it perspective from the Wells of Unconditional Peace and Limitless Love. No matter what shows up on the landscape of my life, I have the (God given) right and ability to choose my response; to let Love lead the way, and let Peace be my ultimate aim.  We are only imprisoned by a belief that circumstances determine our experience, and we are freed in claiming the freedom to respond according to the experience we want. As A Course in Miracles says,

“I could choose peace instead of this.” and

 “Love will enter into any mind that truly wants it.”

I know this all sounds like such lofty ideas, perhaps unrealistic, impractical, maybe not possible you may argue (I hear you – I have similar reactions) but why should it be so difficult to live from our deepest nature, to be spirit centered? The reason has parallels to the struggle for independence of these United States of America. The King does not relinquish power without a battle. That is, our Ego (sense of separate self) has enjoyed sovereignty for so very long and it is not about to roll over and give in to our mind’s declaration of Independence from its oppressive practices. Like other formidable changes of behavior it requires big time motivation and willingness.  When we've suffered under ego’s rule long enough we will muster the motivation and resolve to “rise up” and put Spirit on the throne.   Only in such a revolutionary reversal of power will our True Self be empowered to rule, and guide our choices and behaviors under a mandate of Love and a Declaration of Peace. This is the freedom that we have been granted by our Creator, and it will take a moment to moment declaration to enjoy its fruits in our lives.  

Let’s celebrate all the freedoms we enjoy today, and send up a virtual flare in every moment we are able to light up the sky with our Love and shower our homeland with Peace.

Happy 4^th of July.

Serenity - Rarely on the surface

This morning I was greeted by the perfectly still glass reflector of Serenity Lake.  I captured it with this photo as a reminder of that which is so very rare in our human experience - finding serenity on the surface of things. We kid ourselves with a frustrating hope that we can get things arranged in such a perfect way that all disturbances would be gone from our sight and then we would find peace and well being. But the winds of change are constant in this world and there will be no happy ending if we expect the surface of things to settle into perfection.  Stillness is beneath the surface. Peace is in the depth, 

where the winds of change cannot disturb the equanimity, changeless nature within us.  I come to this place to find this place within me, and bring back the photo as precious memory of my time here and as a symbol of the timeless truth in my deeper self.

Ego location or God Positioning

Amongst a few species of mammals there is a capacity to navigate by way of merely hearing, not seeing. Its called echolocation and it allows bats and whales to determine where they are and navigate a course by sending out sounds into their surrounds and determining where they are from the echo that comes back to them. This permits them to know where they are and continue to move forward assuredly even in complete darkness.

There is a parallel, metaphorically, to the way I find myself and navigate my way through life. When I rely only on my physical senses and surface awareness to determine my sense of self and where I want to go I am using ego-location.  I have thoughts about myself that are based on my physical attributes, my roles, my relationships, the expectations that go with these representations of me. The reverberations of these thoughts inform my sense of self. I am a father, or a teacher, or counselor, or husband, or a trusted friend, a citizen, or neighbor. Nothing wrong with ego-location in navigating our world except when it obviates a deeper inquiry and realization of our true self. 

Sometimes life will hand us circumstances that strip us of one of these “representations” of self or we can by design choose to decommission ourselves for a time from the roles we play. In either case we are given a perfect opportunity to reacquaint our sense of self using a “God positioning system” – intentionally seeking an internal locus of self-awareness that did not originate in the world nor derive its value from our actions or accomplishments. This is what I am seeking during this hiatus from pulpit ministry.

Thus far my time has been one of releasing the tension bound up in expectations as I extricate myself temporarily from the public image of my current process and allow myself to be radically honest and vulnerable and open to who I think I am, and, more vitally, open and receptive to the truth of my Being. There is a time for egolocation and there is a time to a turn a deaf ear to its assessment that would only get you lost again.  It is, after all, the reverberations of Love that give us the singular true sense of what we are and position us most precisely in a state of peace and well-being. May it be so.

Open out a way

This morning as I was remembering that I have been given a significant hiatus from my Sunday speaking duties I felt something unfamiliar and wonderful.  I recognized the care and love that was behind the decision to support my request for this time away. I actually did what I normally don't do, and that is I opened my heart to feel the love of the gift and then let it flow from me to our trustees and all those who have extended their support.  Up until this moment, I had been aware of the privilege and grateful for it but I hadn't let it in to feel the care, feel the compassion and feel the love. As I've shared before it's been a challenge for me to open my heart and let the love in. Of course if I can't let it in then I can't let it out either. There is a singular ventricle to the sharing and receiving of love. A blockage in one direction restricts the other. 
This insight recalls Robert Browning's observation "to know rather consists in opening out a way...than in effecting entry for a light supposed to be without."

- L

Embracing Doubt: An Act of Faith

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. And try to love the questions themselves.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

According to a famous Zen Patriarch, “the Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.”  Yet I do have preferences!  In this moment my preference is that I be filled with new-found spiritual insight and a palpable sense of Divine Presence.  But alas that is not my current reality, or at least not my experience of my current reality.

Lacking an abiding faith as a minister is a challenging conundrum. It’s difficult for me not to feel like a disappointment; like I’m letting my community down.  Not that any of you have given me any reason to feel that way; you’ve been amazingly understanding and supportive. That speaks well of your spiritual capacity to embrace the human and offer compassion to the less than perfect in others, even the spiritual leader. I however, have been less than generous with myself, feeling like a traffic cop who has lost his sense of direction and no longer reliable in his ability to lead others on their way.

Despite my personal doubts about my leadership capacity, I remain convicted that staying with the questions is good medicine for spiritual growth. As observed by Hosea Balbou, “doubt is an incentive to truth, and patient inquiry leadeth the way.” I believe that anything substantial ought to hold up to scrutiny and withstand the abrading effects of inquiry and doubt.  I believe that true faith must come out of uncertainty. The scriptures are rife with paradox and seeming contradictions. Just this morning I discovered the contradiction in adjacent scriptures, with Psalms 22 (My God why have you forsaken me) immediately followed by Psalms 23 (The Lord is my Shepherd).

Ultimately what I’m after, what I suspect we’re all after, is not just a set of concepts about a higher Power but a living faith, a relationship with a living God. And we all know that relationships have their ups and downs, times of real closeness and profound intimacy and times of feeling separate and doubtful. So I continue to live these doubts, though I am equally willing to doubt my doubts as my faith; trusting that in due course and time, Truth will emerge and its purity and true voice will rise above the rest and be my touchstone once more.

What Have You Got to Lose?

"God is not found in the soul by adding anything but by a process of subtraction."
– Meister Eckhart

In a world that judges by appearances it can be risky to let others see the less attractive parts of ourselves. I speak not only of the physical appearance such as a bad hairdo, but those revelations of what is going on with us that suggest we really don’t "have it all together."

As a spiritual leader I have been reluctant to be completely transparent with the congregation I serve.  When my own faith has faltered and my resolve to believe what I preach has fallen like a seed upon a barren rock I've wanted to keep my inner struggle under wraps.  My concern was that I would be judged as incompetent or unworthy and that people would vote with their feet!

Recently however I decided differently. Despite feeling profound disconnection and deep doubts I decided I would stand and deliver nonetheless and openly share with our community exactly what I was going through.  And so over the last few Sundays I have mustered the chutzpah to chronicle my spiritual foray that was marked by many more questions than answers. I’ve reported on a painful emptiness that I had felt as I sincerely sought to reestablish a baseline of truth, self-worth and a sense of home where my searching mind and yearning heart might find respite.  

It felt like I was in some kind of spiritual free fall and I really did not know where, or how, or even if I would settle on anything resembling solid ground. Because of the discomfort, I was tempted to take on an affirmative cloak that in the past would have served to wrap my doubts in the appearance of faithfulness.  As I pondered this strategy there was the voice of reason suggesting that a borrowed faith is better than none at all, and it would give me something to lean on and operate from until the real thing showed up for me. However, when I would feel deeply into this idea, it felt wrong, inauthentic and my truer sense encouraged me to wait it out until that which was really true for me awakened on its own.

I am grateful that I held out.  Last Saturday I received an insight which felt so very true and brought me a sense of peace that had eluded me for weeks.  The insight was simple but profound, a line from A Course in Miracles which says, “Nothing real can be threatened.” This was the assurance that I was seeking in my process that had felt like a terrible loss of a sense of self and precious beliefs that undergirded my faith.  Like a breath of rarified air I was struck by the beautiful realization that whatever I may have lost could not be the Truth of me; that my essence is untouchable, neither vulnerable to loss or limitation. In my vulnerable state it was more than a nice concept. I received it as a core, essential truth that penetrated my mind and heart and resonated deeply.  From that realization it was just a moment later that the implications for what I had been experiencing became clear. Whatever I may have “lost” must have been the temporal aspects of my self, not my essential self. Under the refining fire of deep inquiry my precious beliefs and concepts were consumed as layers of a false self.

As painful as it has been, my sense today is that this process was a good and necessary part of my spiritual growth. As St. Paul observed, we “die daily” and as Meister Eckhart noted, growth is really about subtraction.

Perhaps you are facing the risk of losing something precious in your life right now. (We all have and will) Perhaps you have become identified with something that can be lost or damaged.  You might ask yourself this question. Is it possible that your life in God (true self) can survive, and even thrive, through this loss?  Such a question, sincerely pondered with vulnerability and a little chutzpah, may lead you, as it has for me, to a deeper realization of your true Self.

Rebuilding the Temple

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Psalms 127

As those of you know, who’ve attended service at UCOD the last two Sundays I have been going through a brutal examination of my faith and literally every concept, platitude and affirmation that has been the lexicon of my weekly talks and writings is up for review, and if necessary, dismissal. This is the uncomfortable raw and vulnerable stage of the spiritual journey.

WARNING: If you don’t have the stomach for a minister in deep search mode, please don’t read the following piece which is an unfiltered window into my current stage of enlightenment.

What I want to know, and not just believe, is that there is an ally that is constantly watching out for me, a reliable, albeit invisible, partner in my life who I can absolutely trust with my life. I yearn for some sense of realization that I do not navigate these dark and mysterious waters of life by my lonesome self. I want to feel the presence of love that enfolds my heart like a mother's hug and extends its care deep into the sinews of my awareness, and perpetually reminds me that I’m more than the sum of my fears and doubts and imaginings of how life appears to be.

I have spent a lifetime trying to figure out the curriculum that would avail me some modicum of safety, happiness or at least a moment of peace. The machinations of my thinking mind have conjured of endless schemes and plans and ways to mold the clay of possible scenarios that I desperately hoped, and sometime believed, would bring a state of calm and self-acceptance. I long to be in an eddy of rest, where I can let go and trust that without my struggling, worrying and strategizing I’ll still somehow find my way to a good and peaceful life; a life of enough.

Enough, what moving target in my search of satisfaction! Achieving a sense of enough is a merciless drive that has me grasping and thirsting and hungering in every direction to feel and satisfy a vague, persistent emptiness that never quite defines its nature or reveals its capacity other than its constancy which yawns and demands more even after a great feast.

Jesus said do not worry about the needs of this world and God knows what I need but I’m doubting that God knows anything of these needs that claw and crave inside me. Because God is not in this dream of separation from all of Life. The Divine is not subject to hunger or thirst or the need for acknowledgment, acceptance or loving approval. God is the fulfillment of all needs in which here can be no lack.

I am asked to remember that I am an offspring of this needless Fulfillment and thus beyond or beneath this endlessly wanting self is a truer self, in which all that the Father hath is mine and whose pleasure it is to share it unconditionally with me. I still believe in this part of my nature that knows this fulfillment. My problem is that I am not realizing that truth right now. I’m in a far country seemingly far from my Source trying to find the balm for this inner ache that the world cannot provide. I must find a way to return home to my true self where I live in complete harmony and joy with the Father/Mother God. I must be mindful of my steps on this journey toward satisfaction and question the direction that my search takes me. Either I’m moving closer to Truth or closer to the illusory world of seek but not find.

How am I doing with this whole process you may wonder? I am not deeply depressed. It is quite uncomfortable but not intolerable. When the itch gets really strong I’m tempted to pull out some time tested affirmative prayers to scratch away the uncertainty but I’m resisting the inauthentic leap into a false faithfulness. This process feels too primal, too vital, too rich with possibility for rebuilding the temple of my spiritual understanding to cave into quick fixes. If this is to be an authentic makeover I need to personally approve the plans, touch and feel the materials and consult the Architect on every aspect of the reconstruction.

It will take discernment, it will take courage, it will take patience but it is worth my every effort for there is nothing that I want or need more than to return to the state where my soul rests in its true home.

I do pray that my journey, openly shared with you, will bring light to your path and encourage your own authentic journey.

Becoming A Miracle Worker

"Today the promise of God's Word is kept. Hear and be silent. He would speak to you. He comes with miracles a thousand times as happy and as wonderful as those you ever dreamed or wished for in your dreams. His miracles are true. They will not fade when dreaming ends. They end the dream instead; and last forever..."

                                 - A Course in Miracles, Workbook, Lesson 106

Who of us has not longed or prayed for a miracle in our lives.  I can recall several agonizing times in my own life when the consequences of an impending disaster felt unbearable, and I prayed for a desired outcome. One particularly difficult situation involved our youngest son's preliminary medical diagnosis that might have meant his very short life would soon end.  Even though at the time I was ensconced within the faith-lined walls of a seminary, I could not help but ask for the physical miracle. One of my faith-filled classmates took me aside during one insufferable day of awaiting the prognosis, and gently reminded me that the outcome of our son's health was beyond our control, and did I want to pray for peace of mind. I did, and we did. Thankfully, our son survived and thrived.

Who of us can be faulted for becoming attached to our children and wanting them to live long and healthy lives?  Or clinging to preferences for what seems precious and important. Yet we know that the young die, and the good suffer, and the stories of seeming injustices and unfair outcomes can show up on anybody's doorstep. Knowing this common and difficult reality surely has driven me to seek a deeper faith, than one built solely on outer manifestations.

Even though it is much easier said than done, it remains my core belief that finding peace in the midst of challenge is the crowing attainment of a faithful life, and the deepest realization of prayer. Why is peace of mind the holy grail of spiritual effort? Because it is unconditional, unequivocal and immune from the caprice of good fortune and misfortune.  This peaceful abiding place allows for the "good cheer" that Jesus described as beyond appearances. It is the Elysian field where our sense of wholeness is restored. Jesus called it the Kingdom of Heaven within.

No matter how much we may want our life to bend according to our will, such outcomes, no matter how spectacular, do not offer lasting peace. You know the treachery behind the promise. The mind that creates a preference, will only concoct a new elusive desire on the heels of the last fulfillment. No sooner are you satisfied, than you are wanting again. It never ends, and never ends in lasting peace.

The nature of our ego-mind (relentless desire), and the spiritual counterpart (the choice for true freedom and inner peace) are the core teachings of A Course In Miracles.  The Course defines a true miracle "as a shift in perception." This teaching is the true "Secret" if there ever was one.

Even if we can't set it right, with God's help we can see it rightly. By asking for a perceptual shift, and being receptive , we can be shown the way of greater peace, greater love, greater joy, and greater abundance.  From this unalterable, eternal and unambiguous place, we bring a completely new awareness to our lives and conditions.  This is how we become miracles workers ---by releasing our perceptions and inviting the Divine to "look through our eyes and love through our hearts, and serve through our hands." Is this easy? Not at all, but unless we can actually calm the squalls in our lives, this approach is the only way to find the eye within the storm, a place of grace and peace.

  

Journey Without Distance

"I will arise now and go to my Father..." Luke 15:18

In perhaps Jesus' most famous parable, he shared a story about a directionally challenged young man who followed his sense guidance only to end up far from home and miserable.  The prodigal was certain he would find his joy in the world. He followed his desire for a better life, convinced that it could be found somewhere out in the world.  In the end, when he hit the skids, he realized his navigation error: what he longed for was not in the world but back home.

We can all relate to this story because, at least spiritually, we've discovered the errancy of our guidance.  Many of us come to ourselves and realize that we've been looking for our happiness in all the wrong places, in all the wrong faces.  Because this world is such a powerful opiate that dulls our spiritual sense of direction, it is a tough dysfunction to correct. Under the influence of this illusory world, we are convinced that something or someone will give us what we need.  When the quest does not pay off, we usually convince our self that a new something or someone is what we need.  Yet, no matter how many times we set out to find peace or fulfillment or love in the world, our journey is doomed to failure. It can be no other way.  The reason we can't find fulfillment in life is not because we're not looking but because our perspective is backwards.  Our understanding of cause and effect is upside down.  In our confusion, we think the source of our well-being is outside ourselves.

A valid spiritual solution is one that reverses our mistaken guidance and turns us in the direction of our true home, where our needs can truly be met. When we reverse our thinking and turn our attention from the world that constantly changes, to the eternal self (the indwelling spirit) we find fulfillment that is unwavering and unconditional.

This reversal of worldly thinking is the teaching of A Course In Miracles, which I've referenced in many of my Sunday talks. This Sunday we begin a  series of lessons based upon the themes and teachings of A Course In Miracles. A.C.I.M. has been called a self-study program of spiritual psychotherapy and a modern day interpretation of the teachings of Jesus. *A.C.I.M. has many parallels with Unity's philosophy and teachings and we will look at how its teachings can help us turn our lives around, call off the search in the world and return us to our home in God.

Is This Really Part Of The Divine Plan?

There are people who believe that everything happens for a reason and it serves them. I have been one of those believers and yet I admit at times my level of faith in that proposition has been severely hammered by difficult life events. I have clung to that belief by nary a fingernail at times. It has been a tenuous proposition to maintain when dire circumstances decimated perceptible good beyond recognition.

How can we resurrect or even justify our faith in a benevolent universe, a beneficent God that is on our side when we have suffered great difficulty or loss?  I have stared at the surface of my challenges, long and hard with only greater suffering to show for it. So I’m inclined to offer that we must look deeper than the appearances to restore faith in life that supports our greater good no matter how it looks.  Every food of the earth that has nourished our bodies began below the surface.  As a seed of possibility, in darkness, life begins again for the plant, and for us. We often need the reminder that Jesus shared that unless a grain of wheat fall and die it remains only a single grain, but if it die it yields a rich harvest.   Transformation from a tiny seed into a stalk of golden wheat has a price.

I believe it more accurate and satisfying to hold the idea that the universe is on the side of our enlargement, that Life is pushing us to be more of Itself. It is this urge to wholeness that can upset our ego-librium.  In unrelenting fashion, spiritual forces are no respecter of person, demanding transformation of everybody who passes this way. Static states of consciousness are subject to upheaval if not, annihilation.  Of course we see only in part, so what we call loss may indeed be answered prayer to a soul bent on realizing its timeless, formless nature.  If that explanation seems too far out there are ancient and contemporary stories that point in the same direction.

Moses was banished from his privileged life to the desert, where he heard and answered the call that became his life’s mission.  The desert of hardship and separation became the soil of his awakening and the ground where the Israelites went from a wandering tribe to a nation with a covenant and a mission. Through the lens of our mortal sight, we may not see that a divine plan is spread upon the earth where today we stand, and tomorrow we may fall. Yet you and I have seen evidence of the Divine, when the lesser falls away and something greater arises in its place.  It is the season of life having its ways through us.  If I am truly committed to realizing  infinite Life then my attachment to how my life should be, must be released. One way or another.

Our favorite contemporary stories reveal the same pattern. Luke Skywalker, Frodo, Harry Potter all faced major losses, and sacrifices as precedent to their true mission.  Introspection comes easier when the outer fails us. Our reluctance to look inward diminishes in our desperation to know who we are when this or that no longer defines us.

If we embrace the premise that there is a spiritual agenda always working in our lives, we might find this journey more noble, adventurous and ultimately quite satisfying. We might even find ourselves heroically proclaiming at a pivotal moment,  Not my will, but thine be done. We can be enlarged by loss. We can choose Life over life.

This Sunday the bright, articulate and talented Anton Mizerac and Laura Berryhill will bring you the music and message based upon the theme of transformation with the intriguing title, “"Remake my World: Mythic Transformation and Renewal."

Out of the Mud, Into the Light

Rightly the lily is the flower of Easter. It lies buried in the ooze of pond or stream. There is nothing in the grave of the dead lily that appeals to nostril or eye. But silently the forces of life are working in the dark and the damp to prepare a glorious resurrection. A shaft of green shoots upward toward the sun. This is followed by a cluster of tiny buds. One day the sun smiles with special warmth upon the dank, black ooze, and there leaps into the light a creature of light and beauty; it is the lily, an angel of the earth, whose look is light.

- Author Unknown

 

Today is Good Friday, the day that recalls Jesus' crucifixion and death. From the mortal mind, it is hard to see any good in this event; rather it appears to be a monumental tragedy! How else could you see it? Jesus, the great messiah, this benevolent wise master of life, at the peak of his powerful ministry betrayed by his closest friends and followers leading to embarrassment, humiliation, degradation, enormous suffering and ultimately death. This great enlightened one, who offered immense hope to humanity, embodied unimaginable love, compassion, extraordinary healing prowess, the quintessence of a truly good leader that could lead the world out of darkness....snuffed out!

From the human perspective that looks at the facts, it is not a satisfying story. It leaves us yearning for an explanation, demanding an answer to make sense of this great loss. From this perspective, Jesus is seen as victim, and the world suffered a great loss that day in Golgotha.

This propensity to view life as tragic or at least unsatisfactory is our human tendency. Every one of us might look at our own lives, and say it is not satisfying; it didn't work out the way it should have; it's not the life we imagined, something failed, something went horribly wrong, it shouldn't have happened. This perspective, though an understandable human reaction at first, must give way to a greater truth, lest we remain in the tomb of sorrow and regret. So how do we find new life after loss?

There is another way to see life. The enlightened perspective never comes to those who look at life myopically. As Cervantes said, facts are the enemy of the truth. Jesus referred to this enlightened perspective as, "being born from above," and told the disciple, Peter that human sight sees only the flesh, and misses the Spirit. Just as Mary Magdalene was temporarily blinded by the facts of Jesus death until her eyes were opened to behold what an earthly tomb could not contain, the resurrected Christ.

Life situations are part of the changeable landscape of our lives; they are not the eternal Life we have in God. True Life cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we can lose every form of life, no matter how precious to us, and still have a life, even an abundant life, as Jesus promised and demonstrated.

There's life after divorce.

There's life after a major illness.

There's life after job loss or bankruptcy.

There's life after the death of a loved one.

Will it be difficult, or painful? Perhaps. Yet life continues, and offers us new opportunities to express the irrepressible life and love within us. Jesus legacy to us is to remember that we don't need to stay in the tomb. Through the power of Divine Love, forgiveness and an abiding faith in God's presence no matter what comes, or goes, we too can be lifted up, and we too can bear witness to the Christ spirit that lives on through it all!

Join us this Easter Sunday as we look with faith at this enlightened perspective with the message "Believing Is Seeing." We will illuminate the darkness that shrouds a deeper spiritual truth and reveal how human loss becomes spiritual victory. Be there for your faith lift!

Happy Easter.

Awake and Aware

...all mystics -Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion - are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep.  They are having a nightmare.-- (Anthony Demello, Awareness)

It is said that soon after his enlightenment the Buddha passed a man on the road who was struck by the Buddha's extraordinary radiance and peaceful presence. The man stopped and asked, "My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being or a god?" "No, "said the Buddha."Well, then, are you some kind of magician or wizard?" Again, the Buddha answered, "No." "Well, my friend, then what are you?" The Buddha replied, "I am awake."

According to author and spiritual teacher, Anthony Demello, "Being awake means being aware."  Most of the time, you and I are not aware, meaning our eyes are not fully open to see what is really going on around us and within us.  “We have eyes, but we do not see,” as Jesus observed.  What we see is our conditioned and programmed version of reality, colored by faulty perceptions, prejudices, fears, judgments, concepts, and labels that taint the plain truth of what lies before us and within us.

Our awakening to a Divine reality is a sowing and reaping process; of more of this and less of that. We awaken by letting go of conditioned mind patterns and opening our hearts and minds to the Presence of Love along a grace lined path. This is what Jesus referred to as the need to "become as little children" in order to enter the kingdom. 

Because we are spiritual beings in a physical incarnation, we have the innate capacity to witness our reality in a present, aware state of mind.  We are in the world but not of it when our awareness of life takes precedence over our reactions to life.  When I can be the observer of my life experiences, I remain connected to the part of me that is spacious, changeless, and invulnerable. Then whether I gain (or lose) the whole world, I do not lose my soul sense.  I am not carried away by victory or upended by defeat.  I am able to stay centered in the big picture, able to recognize the interconnectedness of life, and awake to infinite possibilities. In this aware state, I am more likely to meet life situations with curiosity, resourcefulness, and creativity. I am more likely to conclude that despite all appearances, all is well.

Jesus obviously carried this spacious and faithful awareness as he entered Jerusalem at the beginning of the fateful week that would have him exalted in praise and condemned to death in the space of a few days. Jesus ultimately knew that a complete realization of his spiritual essence would need to stand up to all tests.  If love were the greatest power in the universe, it would not fail him even through this horrendous ordeal.  It was only in going through the most convincing illusion of separation from life and love, that Jesus could establish for himself (and all of us) that Life and Love are eternal and enduring truths of our being, through whatever, forever…Amen.