What Binds, What Frees

Why do we think about ourselves all the time. Why are so many thoughts about I, me, my? Look how often you think about how you're doing,whether you like things or not, and how to rearrange the world to please yourself. You think like this because you're not okay inside  and you're constantly trying to make yourself feel better.                  -excerpted from The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

Okay honestly now, were you able to read the above paragraph without flinching? Few of us could claim immunity from seeing the painful truth about ourselves in this honest assessment of human self-absorption.  But wait, don't run off fearing this will be too painful to continue. This article is not about making glaring examples of our human frailties. Rather it's an invitation to use the light of recognition to find our way out of the suffering that is mired in unconsciousness.

Awareness is the first step in healing any form of suffering. We know that we suffer but we often don't know its cause. Worse even is thinking that we know, and being completely wrong! We abhor not knowing so we will go to any length to identify the culprit that is causing our distress as quickly as possible.  In our haste to lay the blame, we look out upon our world and see what or who is "wrong with us." Something or somebody must be responsible for this discomfort (anger, fear, sadness, disappointment, loneliness, you name it ) This is the pathological approach based on logic that says our experience  directly correlates to conditions in the world of people, circumstances and events. We assume that if things were different our suffering would end.

Such a conditional formula for well being puts enormous strain upon our minds, mandating a constant lookout for what we need in any given moment and how we can manipulate an environment of people, places and things, so we can be okay! Have you been successful in controlling even one person in this world, let alone the countless personalities that pose risks to our fragile psyches each day? Can you control the weather, traffic, government actions, mechanical breakdowns, the economy, or any of it? We can't but we have it set up in our minds that we must have these things under control and to our liking if we are to be content! It's an insane expectation that we hardly ever question!!

So let's take a collective breather from this insane demand upon life for our well being and learn the master's way of achieving the same state with far less stress and much greater success. Can you guess?  If you are student of wisdom, you have already heard time and again the answer is always some form of a reversal of the problem. So, if control (need for) is the problem, then the answer is letting go! That's it, let go!

We let go of the need to control because it is completely untenable and causes us endless suffering. Some of us fear that if we let go, our life would fall apart. But the truth is that when we let go of our  need to control our life, our life begins to work better. We come into alignment with "what is" and more easily adopt a yes attitude to life. We spend less time protecting and defending our preferences and more time expanding our awareness of the Self that is already whole and content. From this place, life is no longer a battlefield, but a field of opportunity to bring our whole selves to the game and find growth and expansion at every turn.  This is freedom. This is liberation. This is what the author of The Untethered Soul describes as "untethering yourself from the bondage of your psyche...to steal freedom for your soul."

The Way of An Open Heart

This week got away from me and I'm down to the wire as I have only brief moment to write this piece of inspiration....thus the brevity of it. This Sunday at UCOD we delve into the second major theme of The Untethered Soul, to explore the powerful and profound capacity of an open heart. If there is a singular practice, that is most vital and effective in bringing us joy, fulfillment and well-being it is our ability to open, and keep open, our heart. Quite literally our heart center is the portal through which we experience the divine energy that allows us to know and express love, joy, excitement, equanimity....everything we want in life. We suffer when we close our heart, because we are effectively closing off the valve of this life affirming energy. Our response to difficulty and challenge is to protect ourselves and unfortunately that response usually means our heart closes. This response is totally counterproductive, as we cut ourselves off from the very flow of healing energy that difficulty most demands, in the moment that demands it. So the enlightened practice for us is to do our level best to face life, no matter its challenges, while keeping our heart open as  much as possible. Believe it or not, closing our heart is a choice. Like any habit that has become virtually automatic it takes awareness to notice when the tendency to close arises, so we can suspend the default response and choose to remain open instead.

Self Realization or Self Quantification

"The poignancy of the human being is that you are the place where the invisible becomes visible, and expressive in some way.." - John Dunne, Irish poet Living life from a purely spiritual perspective can put enormous strain on one's need for certainty. In fact, true spiritual understanding demands the gradual, if not sudden, relinquishment of prediction and control. I find this demand for a surrendered state is most onerous in times of great uncertainty in  my life, when I want certainty more than anything else. Many of us are currently living through a human experience in which there are more questions than answers. Basic human concerns of housing, economic sustainability, career direction and how the winds of change will affect all of our necessities, remain very much up in the air for many of us today. Perhaps my own hunger for greater certainty lately explains my gravitating toward activities and pursuits that have structure, rules of order and predictability. Quite likely, this is my very human reaction to a seeming capricious and unknowable life path that is shrouded in mystery. So, I find comfort as I devote time and attention to the relatively mundane and spiritless world of finance and investing. Here I seek to find patterns and approaches to the market that might bring monetary value into our lives. Though this is new uncharted ground for me, it offers enough solid and understandable logic to counter the episodic sway I experience pondering the unknowables. Yet I find it a bit of a perilous engagement of consciousness when my focus on the material seems to rob me of my spiritual vision. It often feels like I step out of my existential sense of Self in order to deal with matters of self preservation. I feel a conflict in my sense of self as I seek to keep a foot in both worlds; the practical domain of form and the amorphous field of the formless. It is the perennial paradox of engaging our humanity while remaining aligned with our divinity; attending to finite matters while retaining awareness of the Infinite. Its holding fast to an Absolute reality even while addressing the relative vagaries and particularities of daily life. At times this is my greatest existential frustration, that looms as a seemingly impassable divide that separates me into multiple irreconcilable identities. Of course my experience of feeling separate and pulled between seeming opposite orientations of life is not unique. This is the conundrum of living in the world but not being of the world, that Jesus and host of seers have noted. Like all paradoxes the seeming contradictions are equally true, and we can't reconcile the conflict by choosing one over the other. Our wholeness is at stake in our identification process, so an omission or rejection of one aspect of our self will not serve to integrate the essential fragments that constitute our whole self. So the "me" that studies stock chart patterns is as much me as the "me" that beholds a universe in a grain of sand. The "you" that cleans the bathroom is as much you as the "you" that bathes in the light of the supernal. So how can we hold this sense of multiple selves, which at times can feel schizophrenic at worst, and confusing at best? The answer comes in realizing there is a common denominator in how we "see" ourselves that transcends, but includes, the differences. It is awareness. Some call it consciousness. It is our capacity to self reflect, and know ourselves through inner observation. This faculty in operation is what defines an awakened self. Whatever we may be in form or formless terms, it is our awareness of that self (or selves) that is fundamentally who and what we truly are.

Resolve to Evolve

For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? We have been living through another year with news headlines that remind us of the costs of living in this world. On so many fronts we are seeing and perhaps experiencing significant losses in worldly measurables. One out of every 10 people are unemployed, home values have dropped through the floor, personal income and financial security have taken a major hit. These are real and troubling obstacles for many folks. Our family is not immune from these conditions. I know many of you share these trials as well. On this last day of 2010 we may gladly release a difficult year, and raise a glass to hope and positive expectancy as the stroke of midnight ushers in a new year of possibility.  I  can get caught up in the revelry of positive expectancy around the New Year, and allow myself the human pleasure of making a big deal about a moment in time. Of course I know that living in time bounded thinking is spiritually immature, and that change can occur anywhere along the continuum of time. Just as a life cannot be fully celebrated on one's birth-day nor love expressed with a Valentine, nor a marriage appreciated once a year, neither will the stroke of midnight necessary release the past or usher in a new future. These are just intentional pauses in the ongoing process of life where we take a breather from unconscious doing in order to reflect, and appreciate what is behind us and before us and perhaps, set new intentions for the days ahead. The year end celebration can refresh us and bring us upright in our seats as we move forward with life in 2011. Yet there's a deeper ritual endorsed by wise sages that can refresh and reframe our lives. It is renewing our intention to let life live through us according to a higher order of being. It is listening for the call, following the impulse that would move us to realize the timeless treasures of life rather than placing our faith in treasures that will not endure.  Jesus referred to this spiritually mature approach to life as building up treasures in heaven.  What are heaven's treasures?  The deepest yearnings of your soul that trump superficial desires.  It's deep joy, over momentary bliss. It is the  ability to be with life over the power to manipulate circumstances. It's a Love that bears all things, expresses in generosity, over a love that thrives in neediness We will set goals for the new year and some of them will come to pass, and some will not,  and a year from now it will all look very different from today. You and would be surprised today to know the changes that will come to pass over the next year. So with change as a given on the horizon, what if we set ourselves up for spiritual success this year?  What if we established a different kind of benchmark for a good year?  What if we resolved to work on the one thing we truly have control over in life and that is our response-ability to life?  Here's a change that could really make 2011 a fantastic year. What if you decided that loving unconditionally was your goal? How might that change your relationships with your spouse, or your kids or coworkers?  What if you resolved to learn a language of compassion. I suspect that could reduce a whole lot of suffering in the New Year.  What if you developed a world class attitude of gratitude....how prosperous would you feel then?  Or a great sense of humor (my personal favorite) that allowed you to be tickled as often as troubled by life. These are my New Year resolutions; my resolve to evolve my response to life, even while I play in the sand of worldly creations and miscreations.  I pray you will find your own wise way that enhances your soul satisfaction in the coming year.  If we take this path, then I can envision us reflecting back on 2011 a year hence, and realizing that we had some worldly gains and losses, yet became more of who God created us to be.  That's a good year in my book....perhaps the best year of all.

The Choice to Rejoice

"The world will end in joy, because it is a place of sorrow. When joy has come, the purpose of the world has gone. The world will end in laughter, because it is a place of tears. Where there is laughter, who can longer weep?" (A Course In Miracles, Manual for Teachers)

If you ever doubted for a moment that spiritual truth runs very deep, you haven't pondered Jesus' words about suffering and joy. In a singular passage Jesus says there will be many trials and tribulations in life and be of good cheer. I have heard and read these words countless times before, but the last time was the decisive stroke that split my heart open. I can't explain why in just that moment, I was so deeply moved by the significance of this juxtaposition of seeming opposites. Perhaps my ego was dozing and let its guard down momentarily, for in that instance these familiar words were transmuted from platitudinous utterances, to a portal into my own deeper spiritual understanding. As the depth of meaning reached my heart, I shuddered and felt the sure sign of profound truth - a tingle that ran down my arms.

Do you feel it too? Can you wrap your heart around the enormous significance of a spiritual reality that makes joy possible in the midst of suffering? Human perception scoffs at such a notion for it seems that the trials of life are the barriers to our enjoyment of life; that difficulty and joy are mutually exclusive.  Our hearts are sensitized to close and resist the tough stuff, to push back in the face of tribulation. Hardly an atmosphere for rejoicing. But there it is in the same breath, master of Life, Jesus who well knew about suffering, advocating joy in the midst of life's trials.  

What did Jesus know that allowed him to advocate a seemingly impossible response to difficulty? He knew that he was not a mere body. He knew that worry was counterproductive to faith and prosperity. He knew that anger and resentment and resistance only serve to separate us from the God moments we all seek. He knew his true essence was spiritual. He knew he was the light of the world. He made the same claim for you and me.  He talked about a Kingdom that had already come; a heavenly awareness that was accessible to all.  The difference between Jesus and us, that makes all the difference, is Jesus didn't just talk about the Kingdom within, he lived there. It was his moment to moment abiding place.  

When we live on the surface of life our capacity for enjoyment rises on the good news and falls with the bad news. Trials and tribulations knock us for a loop, and we see no way out until things get better.  But there is a dwelling place, an abiding place within us, beneath the appearances of life, where all is indeed well. This is how Jesus overcame the world. This is how we too can be in the world but not of it; how we can live in this world and still be happy.

Of course, all of us find ourselves at times saying "if this or that would happen, then I would feel happier!"    It's an easy trap to fall into for us humans and clearly it a journey that will not bring us home for the holidays.  The truth is in the reversal.  All of those stories about what keeps us from deep joy are, well, just stories.  Nothing can keep us from the goodness of God, from the joy that runs deep within us.  At the end of the day, it's about you and me trusting in the goodness of God, whether the appearances support our faith or not.  Hang in there long enough, and deep enough with your faith in the Presence, and your journey will bring you home, sweet home, for the holidays, and beyond.

Love From Above

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Theresa When I think about what really brings me into the heart of the Christmas season it is usually a story about how unfathomable love prevailed against great adversity. One such story that still tears me up and reminds me of the depths to which love is capable is of a mother with a terminal illness who made the conscious, heart rendering choice to find foster homes for all of her children before she died. Most of us can only imagine, and wince at the pain she went through. Yet the beautiful paradox revealed by this story is how human love can come up against its limits, endure great pain, and be transmuted into extraordinary love. Who would have blamed this mother if she found it unbearable to release her children to new parents and clutched them to her side until her last breath. But this mother knew about a higher love that would outlive her suffering and the suffering of her children.  She accepted the inevitable, though devastating, reality that her physical presence as their mother would soon end.  She found a way to endure this reality and the pain of releasing her children by tapping into a greater love, a love that would continue to live and love long after her human heart could not. This is our great challenge if we are to ever really know the high form of love that is possible; the divine love which Jesus embodied and demonstrated in his life on earth.  The hardest part of love is in letting go.  The reason it is so difficult is that when we love humanly we get attached to people and we cling to them being a certain way. Their being or acting a certain way constitutes our love of them. Of course when we are aware of this tendency we realize that we are never really loving a person, but loving our image of them, our expectations, and the mandate we have placed on our love for them. Ouch, you say! Yes, this is a painful awareness. It stings to realize that our love is not as pure as we imagined. But you and I are capable of a truer form of love; love that is seeded in our souls and available to our hearts if we are open and willing to know it.  It begins by letting go of conditional love. It will  take extraordinary willingness to release clinging to preferences of how others should be. But as with the mother who endured the pain of separation from her children, we too can tap into a love that connects us deeper and wider with no limits of time or space by releasing our ideals for other people.   Unconditional love is demanding, but it gives more than it asks of us. Ultimately it's about allowing a lesser love to die so that eternal love can be born. Jesus demonstrated this lesson at the end of his life as well. Though he might have clung to his preferences for his life on earth, a deeper wisdom allowed him to release the form that would only limit his expression of love. He released limitations and unleashed the power of a love so great that to this day we can be reborn by its power made manifest in us.  Divine love is more than a heavenly ideal, but a real possibility for mothers who have transcended ordinary love and those of us who would follow.

The Inward March for Peace

"There is no way to peace, peace is the way." A. J. Muste

I grew up as part of a generation of idealists that marched for social change.  We marched against unjust wars; we marched in opposition to unfairness and to redress inequality for those subjugated by barriers of race, gender, and socioeconomic status. Wherever and whenever injustice reared its prejudicial head we took to the streets with signs or candles to bring awareness to the ignorant side of humanity.  In our vision for a liberated humanity, change meant activism.

The question I ask today, from a more integral perspective than I had 30 years ago, is what is the most effective method of achieving beneficial changes in society and in our own personal lives?  While activism was an easy answer in my earlier life, today I pause to consider that response. 

What is different for me today is a realization that my motivation will determine the results of my actions. That is, where I'm coming from will determine where I end up, regardless of my plan of action. I've come to notice that righteousness is not a path to peace, nor is indignation, nor is judgment. No matter how justified I may feel in my disapproval of a situation or an individual, these feelings will, by universal law, only create after their kind, and I'll never get the peace I'm after.  As Einstein noted, you cannot make plans for war, in preparation for peace. 

When we feel conflicted with another person or with a particularly troubling situation, we cannot achieve peace  of mind if it's dependent on a change in events or of another's heart.  If this is our form of activism we will march until our legs fall off and in the end we'll still be upset and confused.  Peace eludes us when we make it dependent on outer conditions. Why is this? Because peace is not the mere absence of discord or conflict but a divine quality that is embedded within us. Peace is seated in the soul.

If I make the mistake of seeking peace as a destination - a place of calm and well being that I'll get to when a certain outcome comes to pass - I will never get there. Finding peace is a deeply personal endeavor, that no-body or no-thing can give me. As an eternal verity of Being, it is not a destination, but a realization.  I must restore awareness of the still point inside of me. I must be still and know. This is the true peace that Jesus referred to when he said, "My peace I leave with you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you."  The world gives us a set of conditions in which peace is possible. Spirit offers peace without condition. 

Today I know that any march for Peace must first be inward, then outward.  When I center myself in the ground of being peace, I am best equipped to take up the causes that stir me to action.