Who You Are, More or Less

Perhaps the journey to understanding ourselves is made easier as we get older simply because it is a process of subtraction.  While I don't claim to have "arrived" in full self awareness, I have made progress with the passing of time as I realize who I am not.

In youth we identify with our bodies; how we look and feel physically, and our ability to move and respond in physical ways with few limitations.  We find ourselves in relationship to our friends, and peers, and the music that validates and articulates our inner thoughts and feelings. I can also remember how important having the right car was for me in my early twenties.  (Yes, I had car issues back then too!) In romantic relationships I saw myself reflected in my current partner.  How I perceived my significant other was intertwined with my self-image.  Later in life as I moved from entry-level employment into positions of significant responsibility, I began to see myself as inseparable from my work and career. 

While a pattern of identifying with the people, places and things that made up my life shifted over time, it didn't evolve.  The way I saw myself only changed form and shape, as each external definition assumed a greater or lesser role in defining me.

While career, relationships, and our physical bodies are all aspects of who we are in the world, there is a steep price to pay when these facets become major support beams in our life.  When a job, or a relationship or level of health becomes a pillar of our self-image, our whole world can come crashing down when one of these is damaged, diminished or lost.  Perhaps you have experienced this sobering reality first hand.

In Marianne Williamson's book, The Age of Miracles, she relates her catharsis as she watched her body change with age. Upon reflection she finally came to the deeper questions: So who am I really? Am I the woman who has changed with age, or am I the changeless self within? Am I the woman encased in time or the being who dwells apart from it?

Such questions can lead us to a deeper appreciation of who we are, and make a profound difference in how we experience the changes which are sure to continue in this human journey.  In fact, it has been my experience that the more I can identify with the changeless spiritual essence that is my true self, the more gracefully I can navigate the world that is in constant motion beneath my feet. 

Every bud and emerging shoot that breaks forth in the spring landscape came through the requisite season of loss and dormancy without losing awareness of its ever-present life force. Seasons of change and loss do not deny or diminish this essential life force in us either. 

The Sufi poet, Rumi compared this process of subtraction, which leads to us to our essence, using the metaphor of a moth flying into a flame. The wings of the moth are consumed in the flame, which represent our ego sense of self. When who we think we are is burned off by the ravishes of time and change, we are left with a soulful identity, a treasured sense of love, and deep peace.  It's a new kind of math, we're working with these days.  Through a process of subtraction, we jettison the skin and discover the heart, stripped of externals our intrinsic self is revealed. We find we are more than the sum of our parts, much more than we ever thought we were. 

All is Well - With Your Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

-          Hymnist - Horatio Spafford

Jesus referred to a level of faith that most of us still aspire to achieve, when he referred to those who have not seen and yet believe.  When the "facts" of our lives do not bear witness to an ever present heavenly Reality, we are challenged to discern spiritually what our eyes cannot see. Just as the disciples and all who heard Jesus message in his time failed to understand that the Kingdom is an inner dimension to be discovered and uncovered, we too must look away from life situations to behold the eternal verities within the tumult of our lives.  It is the great purpose and highest calling of our lives to know that despite the dramas unfolding in our life, that all is always well with our soul. 

The man who penned the words for the famous hymn, It Is Well with My Soul had every reason to abandon his faith after a series of great tragedies. Instead, in the midst of sorrow he drew from the depths of his Being, an awareness of the presence of Eternal goodness and well being.

Horatio Spafford endured uncommon grief. The first was the death of his only son in 1871 at the age of four; shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sailing ship, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It has been said that a bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul. It takes great discernment to realize that what is Eternal cannot be diminished or lost. It is not just for an enlightened few but every one of us enjoys this immunity by way of the interminable essence of our true nature.  It is the same spiritual groundedness that allowed Jesus to walk through betrayal, torture, and bodily death and neither condemn or judge or resist anyone or anything. He knew that the Life Force could not be extinguished. He knew he could not be separated from God, and that his death would be a transition, and a transformation but not an ending --only one more step on the ever evolving continuum of life.

These stories bear witness to the indomitable Spirit that lies within every man and woman, and our universal ability to realize and demonstrate Life's resurrection principle. What is impossible for humans is possible with God. Let these stories of overcoming remind us of the power which lies latent within each of us as children, and therefore heirs to all that God is. Let us take heart in the midst of the storms, even before they pass, knowing that the Divine is seeking to reveal Itself through us in every situation that pushes our seeming limitations. Let us have the mind in us that was in Christ Jesus. Let us know that what seems to be against us is illusory, and that Life's only motivation is to lead us from glory to even greater glory. 

R&R

As I write this Denese and I are in beautiful Raleigh-Durham area of North Carolina.  Denese is here to observe and support Rev. Cher Holton, her mentee in the Unity Minister Field Licensing Program. Rev. Cher and Bill were at UCOD this last June. 

I'm here to reconnect with a good friend who was my classmate during ministerial school and is now the senior minister of Unity Church of the Triangle in Raleigh.

This is a time of renewal and rest for me, and to get another glimpse of  a successful Unity ministry as a congregant/observer.  In my commitment to stay away from work and deadlines, I have not written an inspirational article this week.  However if you are in need of some inspiration you can find over 60 articles in our archive of past articles at our blog at http://ucoddiscuss.blogspot.com.  You'll find articles on a variety of spiritual topics--except perhaps rest and renewal.  I have not written much about R&R as a spiritual practice. I must live it first, then I can write that one.

You Can Get There From Here

Last Monday, I got a clear glimpse of the way I derail my own well being.   The revelation was at once disturbing and enlightening.

It was a particularly busy week, with a host of details and tasks that kept me humming and running all the way through Sunday afternoon.  I was looking forward to Monday, a day set apart from the busyness of life, and an opportunity to enjoy leisure activities.  I have an unfinished woodworking  project in our garage that continually beckons hands and tools to shape its final form. Throughout the work week, I give it sidewards glances with the thought that when time permits I'll be at it again.

So it was last Monday morning I was immersed in this enjoyable project when I realized that I needed some additional screws and fasteners in order to continue.  Though subtle, there arose in me a mild irritation. Nothing significant really but I didn't really deal with it. I just got in the car and began driving to a local hardware store.  As I came to stop at a traffic signal a block from the store, the feeling hit me again.  Maybe because I was slightly more aware of my internal experience than normal, I noticed that my body was slightly tense.  I thought how odd, that I would be feeling tense on my day off doing what I enjoy. I asked myself why I was feeling this uptightness. The answer came with a realization that I was ever-so-subtly contracting myself in resistance to the minor inconvenience of an interruption of a desirable activity. I was holding some resistance, suffused with mild resentment, generally refusing to accept my current situation.  

I was struck by the irony. While sitting in traffic I found myself in violation of a failure to yield. I paid the price for this mental infraction. Failure to yield to life will be penalized with inner conflict. Even mild opposition to the present moment boots us offline. In that realization I could see that I do this many moments throughout the day.  I suspect that many of us  hold ourselves in a nearly constant state of resistance. Resistance is a form of protection or defense against anything that is even slightly disagreeable. in my case,  I wanted to be back in my garage working on the project, not driving to the store!  How petty, how minor. Not really a problem you say? Exactly, but I made it a problem by refusing to be with the "new reality." As soon as I saw what I was doing, I yielded, throttled back my resistance, and brought my full self back into the present moment. From a state of embrace, I could allow my full appreciation for life to enfold and dissolve the irritation.  The good feelings returned. I discovered that I could take a detour from my preferences, without derailing Presence.

Presence is full awareness of our Being; our divine essence experienced through the portal of the present moment. The awareness of Presence will bring us back into the fold of equanimity for all manner of life's distractions. Small or great, for there are no levels of difficulty in the healing power of Presence. Presence is closer than hands or feet, more near than our breath. And that is the very irony of our default behavior which sends us backwards and forwards, hither and yon to find the place that is imminently close. Never mind that the past is gone, and we can't change it, and the future hasn't taken place, we nonetheless seek to dwell in those imagined places in mind, rather than occupying the only moment we do occupy - the moment that is now.

When we call off the search, stop resisting with mind and body, and bring our whole being into the fold of the present moment, we are back in the abode of wholeness and peace - even when life derails our plans. This is good news - we can get there from here. 

You and I are here for a reason. The reason is, to Be here. Being here is the clarion call of infinite Presence calling us back to life, to wholeness, to peace and harmonious relationship with all that is. The present moment is the portal to the life we have been seeking over there, someday and somewhere. That life has arrived. It is with us when we are getting what we want, and it is with us when we aren't getting what we want. But if we stay present with whatever arises, we will discover that Life is what we want...and it'll be there for us.