Wanting What We Have

Do you not say, "Four months more, then comes the harvest'? But I tell you, look around you, and see how the fields are ripe for harvesting. - Jesus - John 4:35 Today is the day after Thanksgiving and hopefully none of you are experiencing a "food coma" from yesterday's feast-ivities. If so, put this aside to read later when clarity returns. This day has been dubbed "Black Friday" by the nation's retail industry. It marks the commencement of the holiday shopping season, when stores offer slashed pricing deals hoping to entice consumers to shop until they drop, thus moving their bottom line from red (loss) to black (profit). For the diehard deal shopper it's a great day but we know it can get out of hand and become a full contact sport with tragic outcomes. In years past shoppers have been hurt even killed by the mad rush. And this morning we read of a woman in a Los Angeles Wal-Mart  who pepper sprayed a group of shoppers to prevent them from acquiring the product she so desperately had to have. We can argue that such extreme behaviors are aberrations of human desire and dismissed as unlikely exceptions but I believe there is a common thread among all of us that bears examining. While we may never push our way through a crowd to get our hands on some coveted bargain on a store shelf, we've probably felt that inner urge to "get ours." Who of us has not coveted the good fortune of material wealth, be it a car, a luxurious home, a dream vacation, nor craved the affections of some idealized person, or yearned for fame or status or recognition? We've all been there in our humanity, seeking to find fulfillment in this world that offers such a cornucopia of sense delights that promise to satisfy our deepest longings. It's really a seductive power; it can trap even the awake and spiritually vigilant among us at times. Denese and I recently moved into a new home and found ourselves consumed with the "need" to furnish and decorate our new space. Our purchases were modest by most standards but what was problematic was the inner drive that made us uncomfortably aware of how bottomless was the yearning for one more thing, just one more thing... that had no end. On one of our many shopping excursions, we caught ourselves mid-purchase and said, "Enough!" We have what we need, we can enjoy our home, and the absence of some "thing" is not the missing piece that's driving us to acquire more. The missing piece is in us - our sense of incompleteness, insufficiency, unworthiness, projected out upon the world to fill for us. It's the age old syndrome, of trying to buy happiness, acquire our way to satisfaction, finance fulfillment. As every prodigal son or daughter soon realizes any journey to fulfillment that takes us outside of ourselves is doomed to failure; destined to impoverish our resources and our spirit. So what is the antidote to this materialistism that plagues us? As usual, it's a mere reversal of the problem. Satisfaction, and the deep sense of well-being that we all seek comes not from wanting what we don't have, but from wanting what we have. In other words it's an appreciation for life as it is, beholding the good that is spread before us, and being grateful for the precious life that is ours. When we take this approach, the monster of materialism is tamed, and the Lord of sufficiency rules over our thoughts and deeds. By simply choosing to be grateful we can find ourselves in a land of good and plenty. The power of gratitude is enormous, capable of coloring our world in such pleasing hues that no amount of material paint could attain. So here's a prospering idea for this holiday season. While many people will be creating a list of their wants and wishes, let's make a list of all that we have that we want. This will fill our stocking like no other practice because we will be starting with a Great-Fullness with no room for lack or insufficiency. Rev. Denese has coined this day Sacred Friday. It can be sacred, and more than just the retailers, we can all profit from this realization of good, right here and right now.

Not A Problem

I had a profound realization the other day as I flashed on the insight that all my "problems" are self created.  Whoa! How upsetting! How liberating! How can it be, you may ask, that I am the sole author of all my problems?  Simply this.  There are situations in life that can be extreme human challenges, even life threatening, but they are not problems in and of themselves, unless I make them problematic. In other words, situations become problems only after I create a story about the meaning of the situation, or I resist or deny its place in my life.   For example, I can be physically ill, laid up in bed and out of commission for a time. That's a situation.  Not a problem so far.  However as soon as I create the narrative commentary, such as, "I don't want to be sick," "Why am I sick," or "I can't be sick right now," I have created a "should" - effectively imposing a moral judgment upon my current reality.  Such a "supposed to" annotation cobbled to a life event can become like sacred scripture in my personal philosophy.  So each time I get sick, I go to that "gospel truth" of what should or shouldn't be with a fundamentalist's resolve to interpret life according to the inerrant word of Truth (mine). Ergo, an experience of physical illness becomes "I shouldn't be sick." Ergo, a situation becomes a problem. I wrote the scripture and became a believer, and now I suffer under the weight of its onerous interpretation.  Author Byron Katie says, the only time we suffer is when we argue with what is.  This is cogent wisdom. So simple. So profound. I may not have caused the situation, but I have full control over my response. If I resist, my situation instantly becomes a "problem."  If I can simply "be with" the situation and suspend judgment I remain connected to my Source, linked to my innate capacity for equanimity, wisdom, even gratitude and joy. Conversely, when I resist life on its terms, I am contracted, fearful, and separate from the divine resources that could truly aid me in my time of challenge.     Having challenges is not a mistake or a sign of failure. Jesus suggested the "isness" of challenges saying "There will be trials and tribulations in your life" Be of good cheer. The Buddha was equal in acknowledging difficulty, referring to the "10,000 joys, 10,000 sorrows." Both wise teachers knew the way out of suffering and taught the miraculous power and effect of being present to life. Jesus taught that the Kingdom of Heaven is "at hand" and "in the midst of you."  Buddha taught "right mindfulness," which accepts everything without judgment or reaction, and brings one back to the present moment. So this is the really good news of spiritual understanding. Where we are (the present moment) is the portal to what we most want, whether we call it the Kingdom of Heaven, or peace of mind or the City of Joy. It's here, and it's now and it doesn't require a leap of faith in some external doctrine or dogma.  It is your divine abode, your heart of hearts, your most essential self, calling you home to be present with the Presence.    For the past 6 weeks we have been exploring ways to increase our experience of joy in life.  We've discovered conditions that can foster the experience of joy and well being.  As we conclude this Sunday, we arrive at the beautiful awareness that we can experience joy by simply being.  What a relief to let go of the struggling and striving, the problem solving and enter into the joy of being, here and now.

"The Way of An Open Heart"

"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all." --Emmett Fox

No matter how many times I am reminded through verse or consequences I still manage to forget the eternal truths that could free me in a moment. I guess that's why I still teach with such passion - I need to learn and remember!

One of the most freeing truth teachings is this: Acceptance always precedes love. While the experience of unbounded love may be the Holy Grail of spiritual attainment, acceptance is the narrow way to get there. Acceptance is the only condition for pure love, for without acceptance love cannot arise or take hold - it remains conditional and therefore, unattainable.

Because we don't understand this dynamic between acceptance and love, we go to great lengths chasing after love in all its iterations and interpretations and forms. We seek love as if it's a foreign object to import. We look to others who seem to hold the key to the love we're after. Of course we have good reason to think that way, since we were raised with some version of conditional love, where we learned that our behavior seemed to evoke the positive regard of parents or significant others. Out of this convoluted logic, we developed conditioned understanding of love so that how we felt about ourselves stemmed from how others treated us. We came to believe that other people hold the key to our love experience. From a psychological point of view this is valid yet from a spiritual perspective it is completely false.

Love is innate to us; it's part of us. From the Judao Christian perspective we are made in the image of Divine Love; an aspect of our true nature in the Buddhist tradition. Love is an inherent quality of our very Being. While it may be obscured by conditioning, and lie dormant within us, it is within us nonetheless, and can be awakened through awareness and intention.

Activating love is always a function of opening the heart. "Duh," you may say! But am I the only one who steels himself against life and other people when it's love I'm after? When life presents difficulties whether in the form of circumstances or people how readily do you embrace and accept (the indication of an open heart)? I would have to mark "rarely" on this survey question. The knee jerk reaction to difficulties coming at us is to see them as evidence that something or somebody is against us - the perfect set up to become victim, react, contract and close down. A perfect set up for greater suffering.

But there is a way out of this pattern and it only asks that we become conscious of the moments when we are closing our heart and simply suggest the alternative. "Stay open, heart" means stay present, be with what is here, even though it may be uncomfortable. When we are fully present, and open hearted we have so much more capacity to handle life, and not coincidentally, become the outlet for the love that is within us, to wash over us, and heal us of the illusion that love could ever be apart from us.