Wanting What We Have

Do you not say, "Four months more, then comes the harvest'? But I tell you, look around you, and see how the fields are ripe for harvesting. - Jesus - John 4:35 Today is the day after Thanksgiving and hopefully none of you are experiencing a "food coma" from yesterday's feast-ivities. If so, put this aside to read later when clarity returns. This day has been dubbed "Black Friday" by the nation's retail industry. It marks the commencement of the holiday shopping season, when stores offer slashed pricing deals hoping to entice consumers to shop until they drop, thus moving their bottom line from red (loss) to black (profit). For the diehard deal shopper it's a great day but we know it can get out of hand and become a full contact sport with tragic outcomes. In years past shoppers have been hurt even killed by the mad rush. And this morning we read of a woman in a Los Angeles Wal-Mart  who pepper sprayed a group of shoppers to prevent them from acquiring the product she so desperately had to have. We can argue that such extreme behaviors are aberrations of human desire and dismissed as unlikely exceptions but I believe there is a common thread among all of us that bears examining. While we may never push our way through a crowd to get our hands on some coveted bargain on a store shelf, we've probably felt that inner urge to "get ours." Who of us has not coveted the good fortune of material wealth, be it a car, a luxurious home, a dream vacation, nor craved the affections of some idealized person, or yearned for fame or status or recognition? We've all been there in our humanity, seeking to find fulfillment in this world that offers such a cornucopia of sense delights that promise to satisfy our deepest longings. It's really a seductive power; it can trap even the awake and spiritually vigilant among us at times. Denese and I recently moved into a new home and found ourselves consumed with the "need" to furnish and decorate our new space. Our purchases were modest by most standards but what was problematic was the inner drive that made us uncomfortably aware of how bottomless was the yearning for one more thing, just one more thing... that had no end. On one of our many shopping excursions, we caught ourselves mid-purchase and said, "Enough!" We have what we need, we can enjoy our home, and the absence of some "thing" is not the missing piece that's driving us to acquire more. The missing piece is in us - our sense of incompleteness, insufficiency, unworthiness, projected out upon the world to fill for us. It's the age old syndrome, of trying to buy happiness, acquire our way to satisfaction, finance fulfillment. As every prodigal son or daughter soon realizes any journey to fulfillment that takes us outside of ourselves is doomed to failure; destined to impoverish our resources and our spirit. So what is the antidote to this materialistism that plagues us? As usual, it's a mere reversal of the problem. Satisfaction, and the deep sense of well-being that we all seek comes not from wanting what we don't have, but from wanting what we have. In other words it's an appreciation for life as it is, beholding the good that is spread before us, and being grateful for the precious life that is ours. When we take this approach, the monster of materialism is tamed, and the Lord of sufficiency rules over our thoughts and deeds. By simply choosing to be grateful we can find ourselves in a land of good and plenty. The power of gratitude is enormous, capable of coloring our world in such pleasing hues that no amount of material paint could attain. So here's a prospering idea for this holiday season. While many people will be creating a list of their wants and wishes, let's make a list of all that we have that we want. This will fill our stocking like no other practice because we will be starting with a Great-Fullness with no room for lack or insufficiency. Rev. Denese has coined this day Sacred Friday. It can be sacred, and more than just the retailers, we can all profit from this realization of good, right here and right now.

Not A Problem

I had a profound realization the other day as I flashed on the insight that all my "problems" are self created.  Whoa! How upsetting! How liberating! How can it be, you may ask, that I am the sole author of all my problems?  Simply this.  There are situations in life that can be extreme human challenges, even life threatening, but they are not problems in and of themselves, unless I make them problematic. In other words, situations become problems only after I create a story about the meaning of the situation, or I resist or deny its place in my life.   For example, I can be physically ill, laid up in bed and out of commission for a time. That's a situation.  Not a problem so far.  However as soon as I create the narrative commentary, such as, "I don't want to be sick," "Why am I sick," or "I can't be sick right now," I have created a "should" - effectively imposing a moral judgment upon my current reality.  Such a "supposed to" annotation cobbled to a life event can become like sacred scripture in my personal philosophy.  So each time I get sick, I go to that "gospel truth" of what should or shouldn't be with a fundamentalist's resolve to interpret life according to the inerrant word of Truth (mine). Ergo, an experience of physical illness becomes "I shouldn't be sick." Ergo, a situation becomes a problem. I wrote the scripture and became a believer, and now I suffer under the weight of its onerous interpretation.  Author Byron Katie says, the only time we suffer is when we argue with what is.  This is cogent wisdom. So simple. So profound. I may not have caused the situation, but I have full control over my response. If I resist, my situation instantly becomes a "problem."  If I can simply "be with" the situation and suspend judgment I remain connected to my Source, linked to my innate capacity for equanimity, wisdom, even gratitude and joy. Conversely, when I resist life on its terms, I am contracted, fearful, and separate from the divine resources that could truly aid me in my time of challenge.     Having challenges is not a mistake or a sign of failure. Jesus suggested the "isness" of challenges saying "There will be trials and tribulations in your life" Be of good cheer. The Buddha was equal in acknowledging difficulty, referring to the "10,000 joys, 10,000 sorrows." Both wise teachers knew the way out of suffering and taught the miraculous power and effect of being present to life. Jesus taught that the Kingdom of Heaven is "at hand" and "in the midst of you."  Buddha taught "right mindfulness," which accepts everything without judgment or reaction, and brings one back to the present moment. So this is the really good news of spiritual understanding. Where we are (the present moment) is the portal to what we most want, whether we call it the Kingdom of Heaven, or peace of mind or the City of Joy. It's here, and it's now and it doesn't require a leap of faith in some external doctrine or dogma.  It is your divine abode, your heart of hearts, your most essential self, calling you home to be present with the Presence.    For the past 6 weeks we have been exploring ways to increase our experience of joy in life.  We've discovered conditions that can foster the experience of joy and well being.  As we conclude this Sunday, we arrive at the beautiful awareness that we can experience joy by simply being.  What a relief to let go of the struggling and striving, the problem solving and enter into the joy of being, here and now.

"The Way of An Open Heart"

"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all." --Emmett Fox

No matter how many times I am reminded through verse or consequences I still manage to forget the eternal truths that could free me in a moment. I guess that's why I still teach with such passion - I need to learn and remember!

One of the most freeing truth teachings is this: Acceptance always precedes love. While the experience of unbounded love may be the Holy Grail of spiritual attainment, acceptance is the narrow way to get there. Acceptance is the only condition for pure love, for without acceptance love cannot arise or take hold - it remains conditional and therefore, unattainable.

Because we don't understand this dynamic between acceptance and love, we go to great lengths chasing after love in all its iterations and interpretations and forms. We seek love as if it's a foreign object to import. We look to others who seem to hold the key to the love we're after. Of course we have good reason to think that way, since we were raised with some version of conditional love, where we learned that our behavior seemed to evoke the positive regard of parents or significant others. Out of this convoluted logic, we developed conditioned understanding of love so that how we felt about ourselves stemmed from how others treated us. We came to believe that other people hold the key to our love experience. From a psychological point of view this is valid yet from a spiritual perspective it is completely false.

Love is innate to us; it's part of us. From the Judao Christian perspective we are made in the image of Divine Love; an aspect of our true nature in the Buddhist tradition. Love is an inherent quality of our very Being. While it may be obscured by conditioning, and lie dormant within us, it is within us nonetheless, and can be awakened through awareness and intention.

Activating love is always a function of opening the heart. "Duh," you may say! But am I the only one who steels himself against life and other people when it's love I'm after? When life presents difficulties whether in the form of circumstances or people how readily do you embrace and accept (the indication of an open heart)? I would have to mark "rarely" on this survey question. The knee jerk reaction to difficulties coming at us is to see them as evidence that something or somebody is against us - the perfect set up to become victim, react, contract and close down. A perfect set up for greater suffering.

But there is a way out of this pattern and it only asks that we become conscious of the moments when we are closing our heart and simply suggest the alternative. "Stay open, heart" means stay present, be with what is here, even though it may be uncomfortable. When we are fully present, and open hearted we have so much more capacity to handle life, and not coincidentally, become the outlet for the love that is within us, to wash over us, and heal us of the illusion that love could ever be apart from us.

"Go For It, or Let it Go?"

Are you ever confused by seeming contradictory truth teachings? For example, there is the go-for-it school which exhorts effort and determination imploring you to believe it, so that you might see it, that you might achieve it --- perish the thought of letting up on faith or effort. Then there is the seeming opposite approach with an equally persuasive mantra extolling passivity and acceptance; telling you to release the outcome, let it all go, and accept life with equanimity, however it shows up. So which is the better way or does one have to be schizophrenic to be spiritually adept?  I've struggled with this seeming dichotomy at times myself (just the other day, actually) and I realized after some thought that each philosophy has its merits and most importantly its right time and place in a life. The notion of personal will seems central to the question of how I approach a given situation. I am capable of free will in large part, even though I'm often subject to past programming that seems to commandeer my responses at times. Still, mostly I am at choice. I can be willful or willing. I can assert myself, or be witness to another. I can rail against and blame, or have compassion and forgive. I can take the stage, or wait in the wings. I can speak up or listen. I can go for it, or allow it. Any sense of dichotomy is self inflicted. It's not a question of one way over another as a way of life; not a philosophy for all seasons. It's being sensitive to each moment, going within to discern the wise way that this moment calls for. In this way we can be fluid with what arises, open to give or take, action or patience, assertion or passivity. A joyful life, in which well-being is possible in the face of changing circumstances calls for a supple will that shapes itself to situational demand.  We can seize opportunity, go after it, achieve what seems worthy and right in this world, and we can also find peace and retain well-being if an outcome falls short of expectation. We have the capacity to adapt our will to what is most appropriate in every moment.  I would submit however, that the passive, letting go attitude is perhaps the most difficult.

"Joy without Condition"

The adage that asserts the best journeys are the ones that bring us home is a good way to evaluate a spiritual practice.  Like the prodigal son, and Jesus in the wilderness, everyone is tempted to find fulfillment through a promise of greener grass somewhere out there beyond the current moment and circumstance.  We have all taken those journeys away from home, literally and figuratively, because we are highly motivated to find happiness.  It is the soul's mandate for life: experience all the peace, love and joy that is possible.    We learn as we take enough of these journeys, whether in mind, body or spirit, that the way home to fulfillment is always a reverse of what ordinary sense tells us.   The search for love bears this out when we find through experience that love comes to us most profoundly, not when we are loved, but when we love.  This apparent reversal of logic is the hallmark of all profound spiritual insights.  What we seek is not out there, but within us as inherent qualities, that seek a way out.   The experience of deep joy is no exception.  We've all been tripped up by playing the conditional joy card that would seem the sure bet to happiness. That's the belief that joy is an effect of getting what we want. But the hand of truth inevitably trumps that illusion and reveals the weakness of that play. It is of course so tempting to continue to play with trick or treat dualism because the fallacy is so well masked by a conditional world. But by grace, joy resides within us, however deeply embedded beneath our expectations for a better life. Of course, all of us find ourselves at times (lately for me) saying "if this or that would happen, then I would feel happier!"  There is no end to the list of circumstances, preferences, needs, or wants that our ego minds will decide are the prerequisites for our joy.   It's an easy trap to fall into for us humans and clearly it a journey that will not bring us home.   The truth is in the reversal.  All of those stories about what keeps us from our joy are lies.  Nothing can keep us from our essential wholeness; the love, peace and joy that are deep within us.  No matter how we are tempted to play it, the end game demands trust in the goodness of Life, whether the appearances support our faith or not.  Hang in there long enough, and deep enough with your faith in the goodness of God, and your journey will bring you home, sweet home.

"Great-Fullness in Lean Times"

"We must realize that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us happy."    -- Brother David Steindl-Rast   from Gratefulness, The Heart of Prayer    The gentle nature of gratitude conceals its power.  An attitude of gratitude can restore our faith, reconcile our relationships, and preserve our precious earth.  I want to live in the gentle power of gratefulness. I want to awaken each morning with its sweet fragrance wafting through my mind and heart. What I know is that my happiest moments are usually the simple moments, when my eyes behold the hidden in plain sight; when I delight in seeing the great within the small, the perfection of the ordinary, and the sufficiency of what is before me.     Simple living allows gratitude to arise more easily.  The more I let go of the things I don't need, the more space there is for what is essential to expand...for Spirit to fill me. It seems more important than ever in these times of squaring our spiritual values with sparse economic means, to choose that which truly fulfills us over that which impoverishes us.  We have all had the experience of lusting after more out of a sense of not enough. The harvest of these desires does not feed us. Only disappointment follows, because getting the "stuff" only temporarily numbs a deeper need. The antidote to "not enough" is gratefulness. It turns the economics of greed upside down, by showing us that less can be more.  As Brother David so keenly observed, "The smaller we make the container of our need; the sooner comes the overflow that becomes our delight." Paradoxically, these can be the best of times for humanity's evolution, even as we face the worst of economic realities.  When the drive for more is thwarted by economic headwinds, the old ways of acquiring fulfillment can reveal their long hidden futility.  While for some people these are desperate times, for many others it's a time of shrinking the containers of our legitimate needs.  Can this be a "bad" thing if it dials down unconscious consumption and reveals what is truly needed?  Could this not be the best of times, if we are turned inward to measure our internal storehouse and count our blessings?